“Musician” is the only job title in the world other than “monk,” “nun,” or “priest,” where those who benefit the most from your work expect you to do that work for cost, or free. At least monks and priests get health benefits. But to the music fan, musicians should be martyrs for their art. Believe me, it’s scary to realize that your financial future rests in the hands of a demented child who really, really loves you - as long as you behave according to a stringent set of creative and financial rules, that is. Music fans – again, the true fanatics, the bellowing minority - seem to have two personalities: plodding, overly affectionate lummox, and hyper, shrill arbiter of musical correctness. The music fan is constantly checking up on us to make sure that we know we’re adored as well as to ensure that we’re suffering properly and sufficiently. The reason we keep the fans at arm’s length is because if we don’t, we’re liable to end up playing Curley’s wife to their Lenny. . . .

Legally and ethically speaking, of course, you have no right to steal from anyone. Justifying your theft with “Oh, they’re all rich” or “Well, the major labels are crooks anyway” might make you feel better about yourself, but you’re still a thief. Yet in a way, I don’t blame you, at least not for wanting a little revenge. You’ve been ripped off. The majors gouged you – they were busted for it, for crying out loud – and it’s not the first time they screwed you. They’ve been doing it since rock and roll began. They are the reason that quality and success are unrelated concepts in rock and roll. They are in the business of bullying, lying, cheating and stealing. But as wrong as they are – and let’s not forget that they’ve screwed musicians right along with fans – as wrong as they are in practically everything they do, they are right about stealing music. I don’t like to agree with the RIAA – they certainly don’t represent any musician I know – but they are right. Stealing IS wrong, and Internet theft of music IS killing the industry. Maybe the industry deserves to die – I don’t know. But is it worth putting so many people out of business (not to mention losing their creative voices) to get back at what amounts to a handful of very wealthy, very powerful people who, regardless of what you do, will remain very wealthy and very powerful? I don’t think so – working towards an alternative would seem to make more sense. . . .

You’ll be left, for all practical purposes, with two groups of musicians. The first will consist of musicians who aren’t any good and never were and were formerly engaged primarily in attempts to convince suckers in Estonia to download the dopey love songs and experimental art-rock they recorded on their four-tracks; these self-indulgent, pretentious rank amateurs will be your new alternative and they will rule the college radio charts. In the second group will be the musicians you’ll be hearing on commercial radio and seeing on TV. They will be the Survivors Of The Fattest. . . .

This revolution of theft is having an effect on the industry, no question. But it’s not taking out the big guns. They aren’t going anywhere. You’re killing the little guy. You’re ruining the very people that make music interesting, exciting, and vital. I hope you can manage to enjoy what will be left over, and when that day comes – and it’s coming fast – at least don’t insult our intelligence by blaming Metallica or the RIAA or Warner Bros. At least try to be honest enough to admit that it was your own willingness to rip off your heroes – whether out of greed, or misplaced moral outrage, or both - that drove us out of the business. Don’t blame the big, bad corporations for killing rock and roll. Blame yourselves.