Monday, September 29, 2003

What He Said

Perfidy Attacks

Andrew Sullivan’s reader email of the day:

“Maybe I am just getting older and don’t get it or it could be the fact that I grew up in a small Midwestern burg and understand how hopeless my friends and family are who stayed there. Either way these people are jerk-offs. Two things came to mind when I read this. The first is these people would get their asses kicked if they threw a half-full can of beer at someone at a party. Not just because of the action, but because it is a waste of beer. Secondly, these “hipsters” would not last five minutes in any of the number of small towns in this country where this kind of culture really thrives. Any real goat roper who grew up drinking Pabst will tell you it is skunk beer and small town people know this. The only way to make it better is to add salt to it, I mean how wrong is that? My point is rural Americans don’t need condescending pricks in New York to tell them they are cool. We already knew it and embraced it years ago.”

Fucking A! That whole dipshit trucker-hat and Midwest chic thing (which, by the way, has been covered in the Times and is therefore officially over) really pissed this Ohio boy off. Whenever I see an “ironic” trucker hat around town, my arm automatically does this sort of Dr. Strangelove jerk, and I must physically restrain myself from knocking the ironic hat off the dimwit’s head in a decidedly un-ironic, looking-to-kick-ass fashion.

The one silver lining is that, as of a couple years ago, one could step into Welcome To The Johnsons on the Lower East Side and get hosed on PBR for under $20. The same could also be said of Joe’s Bar on E. 6th, but Joe’s doesn’t have tabletop Ms. Pac Man, and the bathroom door doesn’t actually close.

Also, we prefer the term “briar hopper.”


Posted by Johno on 09/29/03 at 06:38 PM
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