Monday, May 24, 2004

Smells Like College

Perfidy Attacks

Now they’re trying to ban flavored cigarettes. Specifically, douchebag Ohioan Mike Dewine (R-Monkeybutt Junction) is introducing the “Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act” into Congress in an effort to crack down on fruit- and candy-flavored cigarettes that trick millions of kids into smoking them. Or some bullplop to that effect.

I don’t know about you, but I was at college in the early 1990s when grunge, the “Singles” soundtrack, and flannel ruled the day. There is no smell in the world more sure to bring those heady days flooding back in all their hazy pretentious glory than the smell of a clove cigarette. Ahhh, cloves.

Now, I know that clove cigarettes are supposed to be bad for you and stuff, but please. One of the many pleasures of young adulthood is experimenting with funny-tasting smokables like those weird Egyptian cigarilloes flavored with cherry and that American Spirit “peace pipe blend” that kind of tastes like a hippie’s wool socks. Beyond my own selfish desires to see successive generations enjoy the same odiferious pursuits I once did (and with no lasting brain damage-- honest!!?><()#QWERTYU$$$), I have to ask: is this law really, really necessary?

Or is this just another way for parents to let the government raise good compliant kids for them so they don’t have to take the time?


Posted by Johno on 05/24/04 at 08:48 PM
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