Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Sacred Cowlike America

Crazy Foreigners

A little fodder:

  • Private Health Care Through Your Employer.  There’s nuthin’ beddah.  God intended it to be this way.  Why, the personal care of unsurpassed excellence we all get is all that stands between us and hell.
  • Guns are Great.  If I can’t shoot it, I can’t control it. 
  • American Democracy Is The Only Real Democracy.  You can just shut the hell up if you think anything else! 
  • The Founding Fathers BLAH BLah Blah blah blah.  They knew everything.  They even know about the magazines in the back of your closet, they invented light bulbs and boxed lunches, and they don’t approve of what we’re doing.  No sir they don’t.  Follow the recipe.
  • Rich People Are Because They Are Just Plain Better People.  Luck, hereditary factors, hundreds of years of bia and bullshit, have nothing to do with it.  Please ignore the current round of cheatin’ and lyin’ on Wall Street.  Nothing to see here.  These are not the crooks you are looking for.  Move along.
  • Market Uber Alles!  All human function can be controlled by markets.  All human functions must be controlled by markets.  If all human bodily functions were controlled by markets, our toilets would be 3.7% more efficient.  This would lead to world peace. 

Ah.  I feel so much better!  Why do I still like it here so much?  I don’t know!  Maybe it’s the women.  Maybe it’s the fact that with a little bending and twisting, this country could be so truly excellent.  I have a pipe wrench around here somewhere.


Posted by Ross on 10/29/03 at 03:04 AM
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