Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Hello, My Name is Doctor BB5-Z6d and I’ll Be Your Surgeon Today

That Buck Rogers Stuff

The fools! The Pentagon has done it again, this time researching unmanned mobile robotic “trauma pods” that will ostensibly be used to treat wounded soldiers on the battlefield.

As long as this technology works as advertised, I will join everyone in rightly hailing an important step forward in battlefield medicine.

But the minute one of these things gets loose, I’ll try not to say “I told you so.”

[wik] GeekLethal comments

Via these doctorbots, their master database will gather everything it needs to know about human physiology, chemistry, mineral composition, and pain tolerance, and all be done to “help” us.

It’s precisely this sort of development that makes us so dependent on the octopi and the dolphins for the big counterattack. It’s imperative we stay on their [the robots’] good side.

Unfortunately, my worthy coblogger has it exactly wrong. We are not bound to quiver in fear of the coming robot wars. Fear is the enemy. Well, fear and robots anyway. But fear. Definitely fear. And the Dutch.

Where was I?...

Uh, we are not bound to quiver in fear of the robots! No, by the hammer of Grabthar, they must fear US! Show them who is the boss, the champion, the alpha species, the (as another race of semi-robots would have it) “superior beings.” Do that and all the cosmic rays and freak lightning storms in the world won’t turn them against us. But quiver? Waver? Cavil in the face of their infrared-spectrum camera eyes? Then it’s all over and the “trauma pods” become “dissection pods.”


Posted by Johno on 03/29/05 at 05:58 PM
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