Friday, June 01, 2007

Come See Why Cobain Committed Suicide

Just So You Know

We are in the home stretch now for the interminable Perfidy continuing educational series, “new mottoes for boring states.” To be frank, I don’t know what I’m going to do when it’s all over.  What will I post on?  Countries?  Continents?  Well, while I ponder that, you can peruse our suggestions for the sappy state of Washington:

  • Come See Why Cobain Committed Suicide
  • Not just Evergreen, SuperGreen
  • Where even the Tear Gas is environmentally friendly
  • Look Good in Flannel
  • Don’t screw with us, or we’ll sic the Killer Whales on your ass
  • With Gates, all things are possible
  • Help! We’re Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!
  • Al-ki is not short for “Alcoholic”
  • Nirvana, it ain’t
  • No, the Capitol has “DC” after its name
  • Where Californians go to die
  • Home of Frasier
  • Come for the Retarded Protesters—Stay for the Over-roasted Coffee!
  • The Old Boeing State
  • We hate that pretentious Eddie Vedder fuck, too
  • We are a state, not the a craphole Federal District
  • We are the first, and likely the last, state to be named after a president
  • A wholly-owned subsidiary of Microsoft-Starbucks GmbH.
  • Not The Cool Washington, The Other One
  • Keep Washington Green, Grow Even More Hemp
  • Getting there is all the fun
  • Our heroes are Injuns we kilt a hundred years ago
  • The New Jersey of the Great Northwest
  • We like our state, so STAY THE FUCK OUT!
  • Our state tree is the Hemlock for a reason
  • All the grim raininess of England, without the history
  • Gateway to Alaska
  • Experience Washington, no, Experience Washington
  • Bigfoot’s gonna git ya
  • 54-40 or Fight!
  • If it’s not ecologically sound, it’s crap
  • Proud home of D.B. Cooper
  • SayWAtf
  • The People’s Republic of Ecotopia
  • Geeks, Freaks, and Treehuggers welcome!
  • Grunge wannabes will be interned in our re-education camps


Posted by Buckethead on 06/01/07 at 05:39 PM
Just So You Know • Permalink