Monday, June 04, 2007

America’s Dip Cup

Just So You Know

West Virginia is second only to New Jersey in the abuse leveled at it from the decent states.  And just like not everyone can be thick-headed, rude Mafioso-wannabes living in a pestilential, polluted industrial nightmare; not everyone can be inbred, uncultured rednecks living in abject poverty amidst the wreckage of a once beautiful landscape.  There is, thank heaven, only one West Virginia.

  • America’s Dip Cup
  • The Robert E. Byrd Memorial State
  • The Mountainish State
  • It seemed like a good idea at the time
  • Got Teeth?
  • My other car is West Virginia
  • The State of Brotherly, and Sisterly, Love
  • Almost Poland
  • Not Just Strip Mines and Rednecks Any More.  Well, Okay, Still Just Strip Mines And Rednecks.
  • Because somebody has to make Virginia look good
  • The Manhandle State
  • Oh, honestly, people. We have a world-class orchestra. We have a university.
  • Where Senator Robert E. Byrd Sends Your Federal Tax Money
  • Come see our new paved roads!  You paid for them!
  • Now with electicity
  • Where girls and grizzly bears both lick their paws
  • We Figured There Was Enuff “Norths” and “News”
  • Fighting Never Proved Anything, Except Who’s Better
  • Where “family values” has a slightly different meaning
  • One Big Happy Family
  • Why’d we have to throw out the good part of the state?
  • That’s “Appalachian-American” to you, fucko
  • We… hey, Joe-Bob, pass me the chewin’ tobakky, willya?
  • New Jersey is down on its knees before Almighty God giving thanks that we are in the union
  • Deliverance was filmed in South Carolina; Indeed, Our Rate of Murderous Inbred Banjoists Is Well Below That of Massachusetts
  • Where cars up on blocks outnumber cars that run 3-1
  • West Virginia: Better When You’re Drunk
  • The non-wealthy, non-slave-ownin’, white trash Virginia
  • Hateful, Talentless, War-Lovin’ Trailer Trash
  • Yes, you can live in a trailer on a 45 degree slope.  Why?
  • Duct tape is the new chrome
  • It’s All Relative in West Virginia
  • New Jersey is the West Virginia of the North
  • Hey, we’re an oppressed minority, too
  • West Virginia is the Best Virginia
  • Readin’, ‘Ritin’, and Route 77 to Cleveland
  • West Virginia is Bigger than France
  • West Virginia Bathes More than France
  • Ain’t No Lovin’ Like West Virginia Lovin’
  • The Hillbilly Rape State
  • Montani semper leperi
  • Weird, Woebegone, West Virginia
  • Semper Redneckius
  • Almost Heaven, for very generous values of “almost”
  • We know God hates us, ‘cause coal is so much cheaper than oil
  • Just think if we was rich like them ay-rab shakes.  Damitalltohell.
  • The fightenest, drinkenest state in the Union
  • The Moonshine State
  • You ain’t a revenoor, is ya?
  • The Commonwealth of Byrd
  • Byrdania
  • The People’s Republic of Kleegle-Byrd
  • Byrdmark
  • Byrdland
  • Byrdatopia
  • Byrdania
  • Die Grosser Byrdreich


Posted by Buckethead on 06/04/07 at 05:39 PM
Just So You Know • Permalink