FakeBlogging

Not really blogging at all

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Carnival of the Recipes #159

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The Carnival of the Recipes #159, with a Proustian In Search of Lost Time theme, is now up. Visit! Cook! Eat!


Posted by Johno on 09/12/07 at 01:59 PM
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Monday, September 10, 2007

A good parallel with blogging, actually

FakeBlogging
Town Hall Meeting Gives Townspeople Chance To Say Stupid Things In Public

The Onion

Town Hall Meeting Gives Townspeople Chance To Say Stupid Things In Public

NEW BEDFORD, MA—"I fought in Korea, and by God I would do it again," said 76-year-old Ronald Schroyer, who immediately retook his seat.

And, yes, I’m posting a mildly topical fake-blog item, just to nudge Sparky’s junk (below) off the top half of the page. For the children.


Posted by Patton on 09/10/07 at 03:45 PM
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Sunday, September 09, 2007

Saved from certain doom

FakeBloggingLead Pipe Cruelty

Thank Goodness that Patton put up that li’l thing about Romanian IRS scammers, because I was about to go nucular in an attempt to spark some posting around here.
Namely, I was going to challenge my fellow ministers to kick this off the front page as quickly as humanly possible:


Posted by Johno on 09/09/07 at 04:56 PM
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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

If the past is behind, a reach-around is the future

FakeBlogging

Anything I might have cared to say about the distinguished- and empahatically hetero- Senator from Idaho was published years ago.


Posted by GeekLethal on 08/29/07 at 11:11 AM
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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Reasons that we (me) here at Perfidy are occasionally abashed at our posting choices

FakeBlogging

Every so occasionally, an Onion post strikes my funny bone, and if I’m lacking the time to actually write something, I’ll toss out a “FakeBlogging” entry, like this one, to memorialize the chuckle. In fact, I created the “FakeBlogging” category specifically to hold my Onion links.

The problem with the Onion, recognized and reported by others smarter and more widely read than I, is that most of the time, the entire punchline can be communicated simply via the article headline. For me, that’s not so much a problem, because the text is generally also both juvenile & funny, and doesn’t detract from whatever the headline was. I might be alone in that view, however.

To allow our readers to form their own impressions on that crucial question, should they care to, I present several items linked or relinked from today’s Onion daily email:

The Onion

No One In Women’s Shelter Able To Cook Decent Meal

CLEVELAND—Despite having no other household responsibilities to occupy their time, none of the residents of the Cleveland YWCA Battered...

The Onion

Neither Person In Conversation Knows What Hedge Fund Is

ASHLAND, OH—Despite their in-depth, seven-minute discussion on the pros and cons of hedge funds, neither Matthew Talbert, 27, nor Louis...

The Onion

Hard To Tell If Wikipedia Entry On Dada Has Been Vandalized Or Not

ZURICH, SWITZERLAND—The Wikipedia entry on Dada—the World War I–era "anti-art" movement characterized by random nonsense words,...

As A Working Mom, Its Hard To Find Time To Masturbate

The Onion

As A Working Mom, It’s Hard To Find Time To Masturbate

As a single mother of three with a full-time career, I’ve got a lot on my plate. Between making the children’s breakfast in the morning and making...

Forgive me for thinking that, however insensitive, these are funny.


Posted by Patton on 08/22/07 at 09:01 PM
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Quicklink - a story that’s got everything

FakeBlogging

Investment Strategies in a World Where Time Travel is Possible

It’s got aliens, it’s got time travel, it’s got the possibility of end of days. What’s not to like?


Posted by Patton on 08/22/07 at 06:40 PM
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Saturday, August 04, 2007

When engineers go bad

FakeBlogging

image

I don’t know about any of you, but I’ve worked with “that guy” more times than I can count.


Posted by Patton on 08/04/07 at 04:30 PM
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Thursday, July 26, 2007

Top Ten Greatest Books of All Time About Guys Named Steve

FakeBlogging

From Letterman:

10.  War and Peace and Steve
9.  The Seven Habits of Highly Successful Steves
8.  The Grapes of Steve
7.  The Steves of Wrath
6.  Steve Grapes Steve Wrath Steve Steve
5.  Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus, Steve is From Cleveland
4.  Where’s Waldo?  Is He With Steve?
3.  Time Life Mysteries of the Unknown, Volume VIII:  “Mysterious Guys Named Steve”
2.  The Joy of Sex with Steve
1.  The Bible (King Steve Version)


Posted by Buckethead on 07/26/07 at 05:46 PM
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Friday, July 20, 2007

Correcting a recent dearth of iPhone posts

FakeBlogging

[Wik] Not that I have a dog in this race, but I found myself thinking it would be fairly cool if the blender had broken and he’d been impaled by one or more iPhone parts. Nothing against Blender Guy, of course, and I’m sure that attitude is just a compensation for all the WWE & NASCAR I don’t watch.


Posted by Patton on 07/20/07 at 02:21 PM
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Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Two Questions

FakeBlogging

What did the thousands of moths who kamikaze my porch lights do before there were porch lights?

And, what did four year old boys obsess about before we invented cars, trucks, trains and planes?

[Wik] The highly educated and fearsomely well-read NDR sent me a brief footnoted note to the effect that a thousand years ago, Swedes were killing each other over religion.

One thousand years ago Sweden was, in fact, in the midst a protracted process of conversion (as well as throughout Scandinavia).  Until the late 12th century there were still bloody encounters between Christians and pagans.  These conflicts form the backdrop of Bergman’s Virgin Spring and Undset’s Gunnar’s Daughter.

To which I replied,

I think you misunderstood my intentions in that post.  Yes, they were in the midst of a protracted religious struggle.  Exactly.  They were killing each other, so the issue of “trying to assimilate” would have been a complete non starter.

And, they were Vikings then, not watered down euro-weenies.  It’s only in the last few hundred years that Swedes (or anyone, for that matter) have realized that when your only tool for argument is an ax, all problems look like necks.

I didn’t have any movies to quote though.  Thinking a bit further on the matter, religious conflict is, by way of gross misunderestimation, a huge problem globally and throughout history.  Most people seem to imagine that most conflicts are about greed or economics.  Of course for the Marxists, that’s being redundant.  If not money, then power or political ideals.  This may be true for some leaders.  But the people - and many leaders - are not quite so cynical as we are.  Many of the leaders in the Thirty Years’ War certainly claimed that they were following God’s will in smiting the heretics.  And there is little doubt that many were convinced of the truth of their religious beliefs, to the point of motivating them to follow those leaders regardless of their “true” motivation.

In the whole world, there are only a few places, and only for the last four hundred years, that have proved even mildly immune to the temptation to go a-smiting.  I leave it as an exercise for the reader to determine where the home countries of those recent immigrants to Sweden fall in that classification scheme.


Posted by Buckethead on 07/17/07 at 03:38 PM
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Thursday, June 28, 2007

Our Candidate Tests Well In All Key Demographics

FakeBloggingEntertainmentPartisan Politics

Presented without comment, really good (or really bad) advice to America’s youth:


Posted by Johno on 06/28/07 at 11:56 AM
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I Was Having Such a Good Time, I Shit Myself

Darwin Award ContenderFakeBloggingLead Pipe CrueltyPartisan PoliticsPerfidy Attacks

One gauge of a person’s moral fiber is how they treat animals.

Mitt Romney, for example, supports “extreme measures” for interrogators, and apparently thinks it’s fine to strap the family dog to the roof of the car and drive from Massachusetts to Ohio. The shit rolling down the back windshield? That’s doggy laughter.

Just sayin’. 


Tuesday, June 26, 2007

One for the ages

FakeBloggingPartisan Politics

My boy will say to me, one day in the not to distant future, “Daddy, what is your opinion of George Walker Bush’s presidency and the legacy he left for the nation and the Republican party?” And I’ll pick him up, dandle him on my knee (for he’ll be preternaturally articulate and world-aware, like some real life version of Dawson’s Creek), and say to him, “Son, it’s like Tim Dickinson wrote in Rolling Stone: He was ‘not much of a Republican at all – more like a retarded Christian AA version of Woodrow Wilson. He spent like crazy and he got America involved in these crazy ‘let’s export the wonderfulness of us’ adventures.”

And then we’ll both toast the good old days when the worst you could say about our President was that from time to time he mistook vaginas for humidors and had a tenuous relationship with the word “is.”


Posted by Johno on 06/26/07 at 01:23 PM
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Thursday, June 07, 2007

I forgot to remember to forget

Crazy ForeignersFakeBloggingLead Pipe Cruelty

So check this out: a young Chinese government censor let a memorial to the victims of theTiananmen Square massacre slip past her into the paper she censors, because having grown up with censored news, she’d never heard of it.

Haw!


Posted by Johno on 06/07/07 at 04:52 PM
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Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Yes, this logo blows

Crazy ForeignersDarwin Award ContenderFakeBloggingEntertainmentLead Pipe CrueltyPerfidy Attacks

On the subject of the 2012 olympic logo and its relative quality, I am told by the whole internets that the prevailing opinion is “it looks like Lisa Simpson giving a blowjob.”

Why yes… yes it does.

London must stand firm. They MUST NOT bow to pressure to abandon this hilarious and utterly appropriate logo! If this logo goes, the terrorists win.


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