Perfidy

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Some news

Perfidy

The code gnomes are once again hard at work.  So far, there have been three incarnations of the Ministry - an early, and staggeringly ugly blogspot version where we were known as Johnny Two-Cents; our first Perfidy branded site that ran on pMachine, and the one that you are looking at right now, running Expression Engine.  When we began considering relocating our hosting (as the ever-helpful Kathy Kinsley is now far too busy to devote much time to web-hosting) we also began to think that maybe a redesign was in order as well. 

So, currently we are experimenting with Wordpress, which we find to be an elegant, free and easy to use bit of software.  You, our public (assuming you are still there after several days of non-posting on the part of all six of our lacksidaisical Ministers - you’d think that having more ministers would result in more posts) can take a look at our evolving efforts here.  Any suggestions are welcome, and should be directed to Minister Buckethead.  (Email him by clicking on his name over there on the left.)


Posted by Ministry on 08/16/07 at 09:10 PM
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Sunday, June 03, 2007

The purity of essence of our precious category tags

No CategoryCrazy ForeignersDarwin Award ContenderFakeBloggingEntertainmentFilthy LucreHoly Shit!It'll Be a Cold Day in HellJust So You KnowLead Pipe CrueltyNaNoWriMoMusic WonkeryPartisan PoliticsPerfidyPerfidy AttacksPerfidy RespondsThat Buck Rogers StuffThe Miracle of ScienceUnmitigated GallWar

Patton has accused me of being overly concerned about wasting a scarce natural resource.  The category tag.  In this, of course, he is completely wrong.  Naturally, I could have argued that over-categorizing a post dilutes the utility of tags.  And I would have been right.  But that wasn’t the point.  I was attacking him on aesthetic grounds, and just to stick a stick in his eye. 

Just to prove that I am not some sort of homo-tree-hugging-enviro-commie, this post, which really is about everything, is tagged with every category we have.  And, when I have a free moment, I’ll add some new categories, and add them to this post.

So there.


Posted by Buckethead on 06/03/07 at 09:34 PM
No Category • Crazy Foreigners • Darwin Award Contender • FakeBlogging • Entertainment • Filthy Lucre • Holy Shit! • It'll Be a Cold Day in Hell • Just So You Know • Lead Pipe Cruelty • NaNoWriMo • Music Wonkery • Partisan Politics • Perfidy • Perfidy Attacks • Perfidy Responds • That Buck Rogers Stuff • The Miracle of Science • Unmitigated Gall • War • Permalink

Friday, May 04, 2007

This time, no Kenyan waitresses will lick Blackfive’s ears

Just So You KnowPerfidy

Not that any thing like that ever happened last time.  Nor did we run up a four hundred dollar bar tab for four people.  Nor did I pass out in the metro.

It has arrived!  This weekend, as some of you may be aware, is the second annual Milblogging conference.  Our friend Murdoc is going to be a panelist this year, kudos to him, and tonight is the mandatory heavy drinking preliminaries.  Murdoc, Cat, Rachelle, Blackfive and Steve Schippert of Threatswatch will be joining yours truly for some pre-cocktail hour festivities before heading to the official cocktail hour.  If you’re in DC, email me and I’ll give you details on where to meet if you’d like to join in.

My only regret is that my “No one reads your crappy blog” t-shirt did not arrive in time for the festivities.


Posted by Buckethead on 05/04/07 at 06:03 PM
Just So You Know • Perfidy • Permalink

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Happy…ah, Significant Period of Recognition!

Perfidy

I’ve been meaning to get this for Buckethead for about a year and a half.  Since I haven’t yet, I’m just gonna own that I’m not going to.  So I’ll post it instead.

Happy whatever-day-is-significant-to-you-for-which-a-present-such-as-this -might-have-been-warranted-and-I’ve-repeatedly-missed, Buckethead!

image

If anyone cares to surpass the limits of my sloth and che...ah, thriftyness...it’s here.


Posted by GeekLethal on 05/03/07 at 05:30 PM
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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Ministry Public Announcement

Holy Shit!Perfidy

The Ministry has become belatedly aware that it has been in operation for just a smidge over four years.  It is the tradition among “bloggers” to celebrate annually the day when their blog took its first tremulous steps into the internets.  The Ministry is no slouch in the tradition department, maintaining in its mountain retreats, coastal fortresses (and indeed in Texan swamps) a wide variety of traditions.  Most of these are not fit for publication, and are the subject of terrified whispers amongst our various neighbors.

Therefore, let it be known that two days ago, the 11th of March in the year of our lord Two Thousand and Seven, was the fourth blogoversary of the Ministry of Minor Perfidy.  Here, in all its profound and numinous glory, is our first post, entitled, ”First Post.” Take stroll through our early work, you will find that we quickly settled into our pattern of random political commentary surrounded by ephemera and silliness. 


Posted by Ministry on 03/14/07 at 04:58 PM
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Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Updated Ministerial Batting Order

Perfidy

As our loyal reader knows…

*ahem*

That is, as our loyal readers know, the addition of Mapgirl to the Ministry creates tremendous opportunities for everyone concerned.  Most immediately, it allows for Perfidious output to triple, with now three ministers posting regularly.  The Ministry gets Mapgirl’s fanbase from her prior solo albums, while Maps gets to learn more than she ever cared to about whiny white boys.

Now, aside from having to add a lady’s room to the Ministry Culture Bunker and Catastratorium (a real drag trying to find entities willing to work on plumbing so deep underground, by the way- something about disturbing the dreams of the dread Quul-ka-gaar, who lies somewhere between sleep and death, totally blind yet needing only a faint scent of blood or sound of a beating heart- which he can sense miles through the very rock itself- to awaken and devour all who dare venture near his subterranean lair ((itself a semi-sentient entity named Gulgortekiket, which rendered from the archaic primeval speech is something like “Womb of Unseeing Horror")) with venom and fang, claw and spike.  At least, I think that’s what they said; I really didn’t understand most of their gibberish), we do get the flair of a woman’s touch to the place.  You’d be amazed, really, what some window treatments (for the bunker’s simulated windows) and throw pillows (for the bunker’s simulated furniture) really can do to an apocalyptic refuge.  Really.

There is also the little matter of promotion among the Ministers.  With Mapgirl on board, the Ministry announces the following changes:

Ross has transcended physical being and now exists purely as thought.  He may deign to manifest physically on occasion to post, but will usually opt to exist in your brain, expressing himself as a nagging feeling that you’re probably quite wrong.

Buckethead now blogs at Deity level.

Johno’s baked goods are now so tasty, they roll in the Shift-X column against “bleh”.

GeekLethal will continue to post 6 times a year, whether he needs to or not, but will feel even guiltier about it.

Patton can live indoors now, but will still only be fed in his own bowl.

And Mapgirl will provide all fresh hot towels, drinks, clean dishes, and the relentless feeling that the other Ministers have done something wrong even though we haven’t and christ didn’t we just get you flowers like two weeks ago.

Please update your salutations and address information accordingly.

End communication.


Posted by GeekLethal on 03/07/07 at 11:07 AM
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Happy Welcome To Me

Perfidy

As my friends like to say, Sieg Mapgirl!

Thank you dear Ministers for this lovely opportunity to rant and rave, thus sparing readers of my other blog from my less than genteel opinions of the world.

For a misanthrope, it means a lot when I say, “Awwwww. I love you guys.” Because really we know that it’s a lie and I secretly hate men.

I promised Buckethead that I’d write about budgeting for zombies. He didn’t specify how, but I assume he actually meant zombie defense and not care and feeding. First of all, let me tell you that Shaun of the Dead had it wrong. Never toss your old vinyls. You could sample that shit and be the next DJ Dangermouse. But I’ll get to that later. Right now, the game is just to get out of the hot seat and stick someone else with it.

Now where are the cabana boys to bring me a Guinness?


Posted by Mapgirl on 03/07/07 at 03:32 AM
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Tuesday, March 06, 2007

You can’t call us bigoted, exclusionary, male chauvinist bastards anymore

Perfidy

The Ministry is pleased to inform you that yet another blogger has been assimilated into our perfidious collective.  Loyal reader, successful blogger, and knitter Mapgirl has, after years of begging, been accepted into the fold.  The Ministry would like to make clear that we did not resist bringing Mapgirl on as a Minister years earlier because she was a girl.  Or because she knits, or because we are prejudiced in any way toward any ethnic, social, religious, technical, or recreational group that Mapgirl might be a member of.  It is only because we didn’t think she was serious when she said she wanted to join.  Finally, the Ministry was made aware of the error of its mistake when Maps stopped being subtle, sly, and making oblique references to the desirability of Ministerial rank and just said, “Let me in, or I’ll plant my size six Doc Martins so far up your ass you’ll taste Kiwi Black Shoe Polish for a week.”

Once things were made clear, things started moving.  The code gnomes were roused from their slumber, and whipped into action.  The left sidebar bears the fruit of their pain, in the form of a new entry for our newest minister.  As we speak, her passwords, credentials and secret decoder ring are wafting their way through the internets, and soon, we will be privileged to read our first post from our new minister. 

The Ministry insists that everyone welcome Mapgirl.  Thank you for your cooperation.


Posted by Ministry on 03/06/07 at 03:06 PM
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Friday, February 09, 2007

My People Are You Wit Me Wheah You At?

Perfidy

Alright, that’s about enough.  If it’s up to the Lethal to provide content for this joint, we’re all gonna be deep in it.

If someone doesn’t post something by 1300 only-timezone-that-matters time, I’m going to bird blogging. 

See if I don’t.

I can tell you all about my new feathered flying friends, who come to dine and tease my cat.  Since we put out the seed and a coupla bricks of suet, we get tufted titmice, black-capped chickadees, some sort of yellow woodpecker, a male and female pair of downy woodpeckers, mourning doves (always in an odd-numbered group, interestingly enough), and most recently some chubby starlings (or perhaps grackles).  And a few dozen little sparrows that hang around with their robin friends in the bushes.  Maybe I’ll tell you about the nice big bluejay who would stop by briefly on occasion.  He never ate much, and now he surely won’t because he died.  Found him stiff as a board in the driveway with no visible wounds. 

Try me, motherf*ckers. 

1300, or it’s the backyard aviary blog.


Posted by GeekLethal on 02/09/07 at 10:35 AM
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Monday, January 08, 2007

Milestone Achievement

Perfidy

Ministry crony and combat knitter Mapgirl is celebrating her first Blogoversary.  While we here at the Ministry are proud of her accomplishment, her oodles of traffic and lucrative advertising deals, we just would like to say that we were here first, so long ago that we can’t even remember what blogoversary we’ll be celebrating this March.  Congrats, Maps.  And if you come to the party, I’ll give you a beer.


Posted by Buckethead on 01/08/07 at 08:06 PM
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Tuesday, January 02, 2007

No more water but fire next time

Just So You KnowPerfidy

I hope it is not too late to wish you, our dear readers, a Happy New Year.  I sincerely hope that 2007 has already proved to be prosperous, enjoyable and relaxing for you, and that it will continue to be for the next 363 days.  Hell, let’s just wish everyone a pleasant and nice 2008, 2009 and 2010 while we’re at it and put paid to the entire rest of the decade.  Happy New Years!

The new year is too recent, yet, to have served up much in the way of disappointments or surprises yet.  But I am confident that 2007 will prove to be as exciting and loaded with days as was 2006.  In fact, I believe that 2007 will be a banner year.  An anus mirabilis, if you will.

What will the new year hold for us?  Well, a quick glance about the internets will reveal any number of predictions.  A surplus of predictions, if we’re being honest.  So what harm would there be in piling on just a little, and offering some predictions of our own?  Not much, I think, and those who might be harmed will likely not be in any position to complain.

So, here are some predictions for the new year, organized by probability.

Near Certainties:

  • Saddam Hussein will remain dead
  • Fergie will remain talentless (pick a Fergie, it will be true regardless)
  • I will be tired of the 2008 presidential campaign by mid Spring
  • Patton will continue to pretend to post by using the Onion’s nifty auto-post feature
  • I will revive the state motto and actual fact series when I run out of ideas again
  • That will be sometime before February

Should Happen:

  • Apple will continue to not introduce the iPhone
  • Despite making progress in Iraq, it will look like we’ve made no progress whatsoever
  • Someone will bomb Iran’s nuclear facilities
  • Fidel Castro will die, but continue to rule Cuba
  • The world will get a bit warmer, and some Canadian farmers will be happy

Might Happen:

  • Wi-Fi enabled Skype phones will totally transform the way people do mobile communications
  • North Korea will do the decent thing and collapse, and be absorbed by South Korea with minimal loss of life
  • Pat Robertson will personally kill Hugo Chavez with his bare hands
  • Putin will stop playing around and get really authoritarian, whilst poisoning half of Europe
  • It will be revealed that every single professional athlete is on the juice, and most of the amateur ones, too

Could Happen:

  • People will realize that France doesn’t matter, and hasn’t mattered since May of 1940
  • President Bush will be assassinated, causing momentary rejoicing in certain quarters.  Until they realize that Dick Cheney is now President.
  • Intelligent life will be discovered on Earth, and it won’t like us
  • Michael Jackson’s comeback will be a resounding success

Out on Limb, Here:

  • Aliens will invade, then get their asses kick when Christ and Elvis come back.  Only the Amish will survive
  • The Illuminati will reveal themselves, citing disgust with the total failure of all their plans, thanks to that meddling jerk, Dan Brown
  • Apple will seize 95% of the personal computer market, and then everyone will realize that Bill Gates was a nice guy, right before they go into the reeducation camps
  • The Libertarians will field a rational, non-insane candidate for President.  Oh, shit, sorry, this is about predictions, not fantasy.
  • The Ministry will mount a successful hostile takeover of Instapundit.  We will appoint the crack young staff of the Hatemonger’s Quarterly to blog here in our stead.

Almost Certain not to Happen in 2007:

  • Hell will freeze over
  • The Rapture of the Nerds
  • Panopticon surveillance and ubiquitous law enforcement become a reality in the industrialized west.  (That’s scheduled for 2008.  Smoke ‘em while you can)
  • The world will end in fire

There you have it.  Some of those things, and many others besides, will be sure to happen this year.  We’ll check back in December to see how I did.


Posted by Buckethead on 01/02/07 at 08:52 PM
Just So You Know • Perfidy • Permalink

Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry Christmas

Perfidy

The Ministry wishes to extend to all a very Merry Christmas, and best wishes for a happy New Year. 

[Wik] And thanks to a kindly extension of our bandwidth by our webmistress Kathy, you will even be able to read this. 

[Alsø wik] If you happen to be Orthodox Christian, Merry Christmas for next week.

[Alsø alsø wik] If you do not happen to be Christian, Merry Christmas anyway.

[Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër?] And be careful around the Mistletoe, it could lead you into heresy or awkward social interactions.

[See the løveli lakes...] Nog!  Loot!  Lots of colorful scraps of paper!  A Jedi craves not these things!

[The wøndërful telephøne system...] And maybe we’ll get a little of peace on Earth, and goodwill toward men this year.


Posted by Buckethead on 12/25/06 at 01:12 PM
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Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Greed is good

Perfidy

The attentive reader may have noticed a slight rearrangement of the sidebars, and the addition of a new item, namely, a small chunk of text advertisement.  This is not entirely without precedent here at the Ministry, as for some time there has languished at the bottom of the right sidebar a small, tentative foray into the world of advertisement.  This effort proved fruitless, and was summarily cancelled.  Our new effort was undertaken after careful thought and considerable research, namely, Minister Patton said, “Hey, what about AdBrite?” and Minister Buckethead said, “What the hell?  Why Not?”

Our new arrangement with AdBrite is already paying off, a tribute to the foresight and business acumen of those ministers.  So far, we have been assigned ads that are euphemistically referred to as “Network Ads.” We have come to understand that this really means cheeseball ads for ringtones and hair replacement therapy.  Nevertheless, we are in the loop, adwise, and soon some hapless sap thoughtful and broadminded advertiser will see our site among the listings, and think to himself, (we are sure) “"Jesus H. Particular Christ!  That’s where I need to be peddling my shit!” And, then, brothers, we will be into the long green.  In only a little under two days, we have already - already! - accumulated $.39.  At this rate, we will get our first ten dollar check sometime before Christmas.  We may even be able to afford Christmas bonuses for the Code Whittling Gnomes and the underage Laotian who labor in the HTML mines.  And if some patron chooses us as the vehicle to drive to his own personal monetary and fiduciary goals, we could make as much as fifteen times that amount.  Think of the celebrations we could have with that sort of cash!

We are even now pursuing other, possibly more lucrative venues for advertising dollars.  What fo you, the readers, think of this move?  Are you disappointed that the Ministry, long a bastion of selfless, ascetic devotion to blogging has sold out?  Or are you surprised that such puissant thinkers and planners as the Ministers have taken this long to hold out a bucket when it’s raining soup?  We welcome your input - though be advised that money is a more powerful lure than the respect of others.


Posted by Ministry on 10/11/06 at 11:33 PM
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Wednesday, October 04, 2006

We Are The American Medical Association

Just So You KnowPerfidy

Robert Anton Wilson (no introduction needed, I’m sure) is dying, and is facing eviction from his apartment. Boingboing has the details.

I don’t know about you lot, but even though I read the Illuminatus! trilogy while drifting in and out of a flu coma, and even though I didn’t “get” half of what the hell was going on (thanks, again, to the fever-pain), in the ten years since I read it, things keep bubbling up that could only have originated in the wild mind of Robert Anton Wilson. At least half of what I come up with for this very website is deeply influenced by his madness, and I owe him a huge debt of gratitude. I wouldn’t be the same dude without him.

The Boingboing link has information on where to send checks or paypal payments. According to friends, Wilson as of a couple days ago only has enough money to cover one month’s rent, after which he spends his dying days homeless. Not cool.

All the best to RAW, and here’s hoping things go his way for a change.

[Wik] [Update] There is a later post, also on Boing Boing, that tells us that the donations were coming in, so much so that

Anyway, this morning Bob’s daughter showed up at his house in tears because she had checked his PayPal account and found money for next month’s rent plus more. Bob called me to say that he couldn’t believe people would care so much about him and as we talked (which isn’t easy for him at this point) he was overcome with emotion more than once. He is so touched and RELIEVED at the possibility of staying in his home. He kept repeating to me his deep felt appreciation and disbelief that people would care so much about him. What a humble and sweet man.

Which is all to the good.  I am sure that continuing medical expenses and everyday bills will quickly deplete that, so continued giving is indicated.  For those who can’t stomach giving without receiving, there is this, a place where you can buy a nifty tshirt, and for each one, $10 will go to RAW. [- buckethead]

[Alsø wik] I just noted that the tshirt link above is to, of all things, Giant Robot Printing.  Everyone must buy a tshirt to help RAW.  I am frankly stunned, though, that they have no tshirts featuring giant robots. 


Posted by Johno on 10/04/06 at 10:47 PM
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Friday, September 29, 2006

Important Ministry Announcement

Lead Pipe CrueltyPerfidy

Throughout history, the hunt has traditionally been central to high culture.  Hunting rights were reserved to the aristocracy, and poachers were punished viciously for the least infraction.  Hunting was, among other things, a proxy for war training, a test of manhood, and a means of ridding the world of dangerous predators.  In modern times, as our feeble replacement for warrior nobility has moved on to other pursuits – literary criticism, cultivating effete mannerisms, the collection of third world handicrafts, posturing “interest” in obscure causes – the hunt has declined in importance.  Nowadays, hunting is largely the preserve of the descendents of those who were once hanged for snatching the King’s deer.  The hunt has now become hunting.  A blue collar pursuit, déclassé, and if noticed at all by the guardians of modern culture, regarded with little short of revulsion and nausea.

That this is emblematic of our decline as a civilization is clear.  It is also clear that something must be done.  In considering this matter, the ministers felt that in reviving the Hunt, we must attempt to recapture the best aspects of the Hunt of old.  It must be a test of courage, man vs. the most dangerous of beasts.  It must have an element of public service – we must, in killing, provide life and safety for the little people who are hungry and, indeed, at risk from the hunger of the wild.  The Hunt must refine those skills most useful in war, so that we, and those who participate, will be better prepared for the coming apocalypse.  Finally, it must offer up to heaven a sacrifice of blood, cruelty, torment and incense.

In pursuit of these aims, therefore, The Ministry of Minor Perfidy is now accepting reservations for the first annual Ministry Manatee Hunt and Barbecue.


Posted by Buckethead on 09/29/06 at 03:58 PM
Lead Pipe Cruelty • Perfidy • Permalink
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