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social democrat, ca. 1930 trade-unionist, and professor of alleged history

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Monday, April 30, 2007

Queer

Really, queer.

Posted by Buckethead on 04/30/07 at 06:48 PM
Darwin Award Contender • Permalink

Found among this morning’s email joke deliveries

Subject: Tragedy vs Accident

Reverends Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, while visiting a primary school class. They suddenly found themselves in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked both men if they would like to lead the discussion of The word “tragedy”.

So the illustrious Rev Jackson asks the class for an example of a “tragedy”.

One little boy stood up and offered: “If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and kills him, that would be a tragedy.”

No,” says the Great Jesse Jackson, “that would be an accident.”

A little girl raised her hand: “If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.”

I’m afraid not,” explains the exalted Reverend Al. “That’s what we would call a great loss.” The room goes silent.

No other children would volunteer.

Reverend Al searches the room. “Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”

Finally at the back of the room little Johnny raises his hand. In a stern voice he says: “If a plane carrying the Reverends Jackson and Sharpton was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.”

Fantastic!” exclaims Jackson and Sharpton, “That’s right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”

Well,” says little Johnny, “because it sure as hell wouldn’t be a great loss, and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either.

(h/t Kiwi)

Posted by Patton on 04/30/07 at 03:00 PM
Just So You Know • Lead Pipe Cruelty • Permalink

Friendly Reminder

Just a note to remind the Ministry’s loyal reader...dammit, readers...readers... that we are only three months away from Moon Conquest Day.

I hope everyone can take some time out and reflect on the stellar travellers who we have lost, commemorate America’s first off-planet adventure, and celebrate telling the Russians to suck it. “It” being our collective wang which, given its interplanetary reach, is among the largest on our world.

And let’s think about what symbol we can add to the flag to represent the moon. If states are stars, what can the moon be?

Posted by GeekLethal on 04/30/07 at 12:12 PM
That Buck Rogers Stuff • Permalink

Back from a short vacationâ€¦

...and once again, I find myself astounded by the institutionalized idiocy of the Transportation Security Administration.

Thanks to Richard Reid, for instance, I still get to experience the silly waste of time inherent in removing my shoes and running them through the scanning equipment. Thanks to the efforts of the 21 alleged terrorists in the UK during the summer of 2006, passenger screening personnel still get to inflict the silly waste of time inherent in depriving passengers of any liquid or gel not contained in a properly sized receptacle, or that receptacle itself not contained in the proper 1-quart see through bag. (See also this item on the Department of Homeland Security’s designation of an entire state of matter as a national security risk)

More Perfidious Goodness...

A screener told me yesterday, with no small hint of pride, that, Yes! We still check all passengers’ shoes! This, in sleepy little Myrtle Beach, SC, where many, though not most, of the flights are turbo-prop or 57 seat commuter jets with presumably low value as flying projectiles, and even lower value as targets for suicide bombings.

The experience reminded me of the many instances in which Bruce Schneier has had occasion to comment on the misguided nature of our government’s reaction to events, including its apparent fetish for adding every new terrorist’s trick to the permanent list of reasons for inconveniencing the traveling public, while adding no safety to the equation at all. Zero. I would direct the curious reader to this list of articles on Mr. Schneier’s site for a thorough review of all that’s wrong with the manner in which our bureaucratic overlords maintain their ridiculous pretense to be adding to our security. He’s rightly called it “Security Theater”, among other things.

At the time of this writing, the link just above produces a list of 244 such articles. They cover the failures of security, the knee-jerk TSA reactions to events, the useless political correctness and abuses of power inherent in current process, and the arguably unconstitutional restrictions on rights to redress for incorrect blacklisting or commentary about the process as you’re having it inflicted on your person. Add to this the gaping productivity hole (estimated at $10 billion/year and up) left by the process, the passengers’ costs for security (you didn’t think the airlines were absorbing that, of course), and factor in a rational cost/benefit analysis (even under the assumption we wanted to guarantee that no person ever died except from natural causes) and it seems clear that security is not just irksome - it’s poorly and stupidly implemented.

Luckily, it’s not yet illegal to parody the process while away from airports.

(also posted at issuesblog.com)

Too Goddamn Much Perfidy...

Posted by Patton on 04/30/07 at 01:10 PM
Just So You Know • Unmitigated Gall • Permalink

Just noticed my dictionary is a relic of a bygone age

Call me anachronistic, but I use a real dictionary to look up words.

I like the internets as much as the next guy, but still prefer, more often than not, the look and feel of a solid dense bit of bookery in my hands. It means authority, and presence, and presents language in a more permanent and, I daresay, reassuring way than do bits and pixels.

Mostly. I just noticed that my dictionary is a relic of a bygone age. Not the age of print and type, but the age when terrorism had to do with Them, not Us.

I was looking for a word and happened upon a small picture in the margin that caught my eye: a tiny black and white photo of Manhattan, including the Twin Towers, associated with the definition of “skyline”. About three inches down is another pic, a little larger, of just the towers and labeled “skyscraper”. Also in the same corner of the page: skyjack. And sky marshall.

Posted by GeekLethal on 04/30/07 at 10:18 AM
Just So You Know • Permalink