The Ministry of Minor Perfidy

Ministers

Right-wing whackjob

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful

Girl Drink Drunk

Beauty School Dropout

In an alternate universe, Mapgirl replaces Suzy Orman

Java programmer, contrarian, and resident lefty

Minister Emeritus

Windy City Mike
social democrat, ca. 1930 trade-unionist, and professor of alleged history

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Monday, January 29, 2007

Notes from the FestungFest

Recently, Buckethead and clan relocated from their suburban abode in the heart of Alexandria, Virginia, to a mountain fastness some sixty miles distant. That ordeal has been amply documented on this site.

The call went out across the land to bloggers and regular people near and far to gather to celebrate the dual events of the birth of Martin Luther King, Jr. and the ensconcement of Clan Buckethead in their new home at Festung Buckethead. Goodwyfe Johno and I flew into the area to attend this bash, and in the process catch the talented Dead Men’s Hollow in concert.

The gathering was a great success. Aside from myself and Buckethead, both Ministers GeekLethal (with the lovely Mrs. Lethal and the lil’ Lethal in tow) and Ross made the scene. Also in attendence were Princess Kat, the Maximum Leader, and the formerly AWOL Phil Dennison, reformed blogger who no longer has a webpage and who therefore is only eligilble for old-school meatspace esteem. Much business was transacted. Much perfidy was committed. Much music was played, some of it through an iPod fed into a fire-spewing Ruben’s Tube. Much very fine Scotch was consumed, and some fairly nice cigars as well. Good times, good times.

We of the Ministry thank all attendees in body or spirit, and hope that the remainder of their 2007 is as auspicious and friendly as ithe precedent set at Festung Buckethead.

Posted by Johno on 01/29/07 at 12:17 PM
Perfidy Responds • Permalink

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Dispatch from the Ministry of Hops, vol. 14

Brew # 14, Desert Fox Dunkelweizen

6.6 lbs liquid wheat malt extract (50% each barley and wheat)
4 oz caramunich malt? or maybe it was crystal malt 90L?
2 oz crystal malt 60L?
4 oz chocolate malt
2 oz black patent malt
1 oz Styrian goldings hops, pellet
1/4 oz Tettnanger Tettnang hops, pellet
1 lb very ripe bananas, frozen, thawed, and mashed
.2 oz locally grown coriander, ground
1/2 tsp black pepper, ground
1/2 tsp North African dried lemon, grated
White Labs WLP 300, Hefeweizen Yeast

More Perfidious Goodness...

Steeped grains in 1 gal bottled spring water at 160 degrees for 45 minutes. Meanwhile brought 2.5 gallons bottled spring water to boil in kettle. Sparged grain bag in kettle water and added the gallon of steeping water. At boil added extract and Styrian goldings and started the hour clock.

At :40 added Tettnanger Tettnang
At :50 added bananas
At :55 added coriander
At :59 added pepper and dried lemon

Removed kettle to ice-water bath and brought down to about 95 degrees within half an hour. Added about 1.5 gallons bottled spring water to fermentor. Added contents of kettle to fermentor, and separated out cold/hot break and hops. There were banana chunks in the wort; made sure that as many of them were in the bucket as possible, which may eventually prove to be a grave mistake. Pitched yeast at 74 degrees.

Woken up the ensuing morning by my wife, alarmed by the amount of activity at the fermentor. Sure enough, a VERY vigorous fermentation at a higher than optimum temperature (74-75 degrees rather than 68-72) had combined with a banana chunk to block the airlock, and pressure was building. Cracked lid for a second to relieve pressure and went to rig a blowoff hose instead; when airlock was removed it blew protein scum and banana a couple feet in the air. Yeesh.

There’s a lot about this beer that I’m doing “wrong.” First of all, I’m really not sure what my specialty grains are; it was a while back when I bought them and I have conflicting reports on my draft recipes. I should have used a little Caramunich or munich, with a small amount of black Carafa malt for color; these are all German malts and characteristic of the style. Instead, I chose to go with American varieties that are rather unlike their German counterparts. Chocolate malt is fairly astringent, and the dark crystal malt I believe I used is bittersweet, rather than frankly sweet. That’s probably fine - I’m not really after a sweet beer, but a complex one. But I hope that the yeast strain I’m using doesn’t dry things out too too much. Dunkelweizens are supposed to be a little heavier and sweeter than light hefeweizens. I’m heading in that direction but taking a detour.

As for the adulterants; I’m bored with making regular beers, good as they are. I figure what the hell, I’ll go nuts. I have bananas; hefeweizen yeast produces banana flavors; in go bananas. I have this weird little dried up black desiccated Egyptian lemon; some lemon tartness is good in hefeweizens; in goes some of that. Hefeweizen yeast produces phenolic compounds reminiscent of cloves and spices; coriander in small amounts adds depth, and black pepper in small amounts adds punch without being noticeable, and they’re both characteristic of Red Sea area cuisine; in they go!

It could suck, I suppose. But I kind of think it won’t. We’ll find out.

Next up is either an Imperial Belgian IPA, combining the citrusy overtones and maltiness of an American IPA with the spicy punch of a Belgian ale, golden in color and around 8% alcohol, or a Fakey-fake Pilsener Ale, which takes the subtle malt and soft hops of a Czech Pilsener and translates them into a higher-alcohol, hoppier American version made with the cleanest, most lagerlike ale yeast I can find. Nummy-num-num.

[Wik] Holy crap! The blowoff hose keeps getting clogged with bits of banana, requiring me to physically go to the bucket every half hour to press on the lid enough to blow the banana down the hose. There’s all kinds of floaty bits of banana in my bottle of sanitizer now that have come out the end of the hose. This is what they call “adventure in homebrewing.”

[Also Wik] So a word to the wise: no matter the worth of the banana as an adjunct to beer, whether slight or great, always make sure those bananas are liquified before they go in the wort.

[Also Also Wik] Now what terrible spasm of tastelessness could drive me to name a fusion German-Egyptian beer “Desert Fox?”

[Wi nÃ¸t trei a hÃ¸liday in Sweden this yÃ«r?] No seriously. Twelve hours into the fermentation and I’ve had to take the risky step of removing the blowoff hose and replacing it temporarily with a standard airlock while I cleaned the crud that had totally blocked the hose out of said hose. Five minutes was enough for the foam of the fermentation to fill the airlock, force its way out of the tiny holes in the top of the fermentor, and begin pooling. Now that I’ve replaced the blowoff hose, I sincerely hope this is the last I’ll have to screw around with this damn beer until bottling day. Is the yeast just Conan-strong? Did I manage to introduce a very hungry bug that’s eating everything in sight (very unlikely)? Will I post yet another follow-up to this saga? Stay tuned!

Too Goddamn Much Perfidy...

Posted by Johno on 01/28/07 at 12:13 PM
Entertainment • Permalink

Friday, January 26, 2007

Sneaky Martians

Hiding their air from us, apparently. New measurements and calculations from the orbiting Mars spy satellites indicate that Mars is losing about 20 grams of atmosphere a second. Which is not a whole hell of a lot. Even adding it all up over the course of billions of years, its still not a whole hell of a lot.

Extrapolating this measurement back over 3.5 billion years, they estimate that only a small fraction, 0.2 to 4 millibars, of carbon dioxide and a few centimeters of water could have been lost to solar winds during that timeframe.

Which means that either Mars never had the thicker, wetter atmosphere we think it did in the past, or else that atmosphere was not blown away atom by atom by the solar wind as we thought it did. Either way, something we though was so, weren’t. If Mars did in fact have that thick atmosphere, it must be sequestered away somewhere in, around, or in the pockets of the planet. Which is a positive thought for all those budding junior scientists with their home terraforming kits. Martian air, perhaps hidden in underground reservoirs, or bound up in the crust or whatnot, would at least theoretically be amenable to be reintroduced into the atmosphere. Unless a third theory is true - that Mars’ atmosphere was blown clear off the planet by a large meteor strike. So, to sum up, Mars doesn’t have air, and is losing it slowly. It may or may not have air hidden. Mars may or may not have had a thick atmosphere in the past. Mars may or may not have been hit by an atmosphere-stealing asteroid. See how our knowledge grows?

[Wik] I find it interesting, btw, that catastrophic explanations for what we see in the solar system are becoming more common.

Posted by Buckethead on 01/26/07 at 07:15 PM
The Miracle of Science • Permalink

Area Organized Crime Families Fearful of FBI Anti-Mob Investigations

Reuters reports that in the aftermath of the recent round up of hundreds of ~~illegal~~ undocumented ~~aliens~~ workers, known to me as scofflaw foreigners, some people in California are fearful. Why are they fearful? Let’s hear what Rosa Maria Salazar has to say. She is a cook at a Salvadoran cafe in a heavily Hispanic neighborhood near downtown Los Angeles:

“We’re terrified. The police could come for us at any time and deport us.”

As an aside, she made the above comment in Spanish. Reuters helpfully translated. But why is Rosa Maria frightened? Because, well, she’s an illegal alien. She is here in this country illegally, and she is working illegally. I am sure that Rosa Maria is a nice woman, hard working and eager to make a better life for herself. No doubt that was difficult in her native Guatemala. But I am not overly moved by her terror. She has every right to be concerned that agents of our government will come and send her away, because, that’s their job and she is a utterly and completely legitimate target for their scrutiny. She’s breaking our laws just by being in Los Angeles.

This Reuters article is full of not so sly bias toward the “victims” of this latest sweep. Observe:

The 55-year-old undocumented worker from Guatemala is among many Hispanics deeply shaken by recent immigration raids at the heart of Latino communities in southern California.

I imagine that most of those frightened Hispanics are also illegal aliens. American citizens of Hispanic descent really donâ€™t have to worry, now, do they? Should we be concerned that criminals are â€œshakenâ€ by police patrols?

The-seven day Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) sweep, dubbed “Operation Return to Sender,” targeted jails across five counties in the Los Angeles area, where police took 423 of what they called “criminal aliens” into federal custody for deportation, after being held on charges unrelated to their immigration status.

And look, more than half of the people rounded up were already rounded up, albeit for other crimes. Is the Hispanic community, and indeed concerned citizens throughout this great nation expected to weep for shame because 400 people already in jail are deported? Sheesh.

Federal agents from seven teams also fanned out in local communities, where they nabbed 338 undocumented immigrants, more than 150 of whom were classed as “immigration fugitives”—foreign nationals who ignored final deportation orders.

And of the other half, almost half of them were not merely here illegally, but were actively running from immigration officials. These arenâ€™t the grey masses of illagals, people who are in this country but under the radar. These are people who we have specifically told to go home, and for some reason are still here. Why were these â€œfinal deportation ordersâ€ not accompanied by a Federal Marshall and a plane ticket? Of the others, these undocumented immigrants yearning to be free, well they are 188 out of an estimated 2.5 million in California alone. Itâ€™s a start, but hardly a solution.

“We hadn’t seen anything like this here before, and it came as a shock,” said Antonio Bernabe, a community worker who runs a day labor program at the Coalition for Humane Immigrant Rights of Los Angeles.

Why the fuck would this come as a shock to you, Antonio? The fact that we havenâ€™t enforced our laws for decades might have lulled you into a false sense of security, but the writing has been on the wall for a little while now. And why arenâ€™t you in jail for helping criminals evade justice?

“The police didn’t just take people with deportation orders, they took anybody ... guys who were just hanging out in the street and even from a Jack in the Box restaurant ... and now people are afraid to go out,” he added.

Well, damn, thatâ€™s just like, terrible. They took anybody who wasnâ€™t here legally. Howâ€¦ fascist.

“We used to feel secure here,” Nicaraguan electrician Manuel Salomon told Reuters as he sipped coffee in a Mexican bakery in the city. “But it looks like that honeymoon is over.”

I certainly hope so, Manuel. I hope that you get arrested and deported. And then I hope that you turn around, and make your way back to this country legally.

This article, and many like it, are ridiculous in the euphemistic treatment of this issue. Calling Manuel, or others, â€œUndocumented Workersâ€ or some other truth dodging phrase does not erase the fact that they are people who are breaking our laws, and have been showing contempt for laws since the moment they slipped across the border. They are illegal aliens â€“ a nicely accurate phrase that has almost completely disappeared from the major media. I am not against immigration. I do not hate Hispanics. I am against illegal immigration, and I think that most people on this side of the issue realize that they are different issues despite the efforts of some on the other side to conflate them.

Posted by Buckethead on 01/26/07 at 02:28 PM
Crazy Foreigners • Unmitigated Gall • Permalink

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Life’s Embarrassments - cont’d.

Some pharmacist should lose a license over this, I guess. Either that or a zoologist, if such even have licenses.

Never give an iguana Viagra

Thu Jan 25, 2007 12:04pm ET

ANTWERP, Belgium (Reuters) - Mozart, an iguana with an erection that has lasted for over a week, will have his penis amputated in the next couple of days.

Veterinarians at Antwerp’s Aquatopia had sought to treat the animal’s problem, but decided removal was the only solution because of the risk of infection. The good news for Mozart and his mates is that male iguanas have two penises.

Mozart, sitting on the shoulders of his keeper as camera crews focused on his red, swollen erection, seemed unperturbed by the news.

“It doesn’t bother him. He doesn’t know what amputation means,” said vet Luc Lambrecht, adding that Mozart’s sexual activity should be undimmed by the operation.

“I don’t think so. That’s all in his head.”

I’m happy to report that the Reuters report doesn’t contain any pictures of swollen, red, iguana junk, so it’s safe for work. I don’t know which is sillier - the fact that someone gave the iguana Viagra, or the fact that some (presumedly different) person can assert, apparently straight-faced, that his sexual performance is all in his head.

[Wik] This posting might be mis-titled - the iguana doesn’t seem to actually have been too embarrassed by this malpractice.

[AlsÃ¸ wik] I wonder what role the physiology of the iguana plays in the psychology of penis envy?

[AlsÃ¸ alsÃ¸ wik] The Reuters article might just as logically been entitled “Never Give an Iguana a Lit M-80 for Lunch”, come to think of it.

Posted by Patton on 01/25/07 at 07:43 PM
Just So You Know • The Miracle of Science • Permalink

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Life’s Embarrassments

Just heard, in a phone conversation with my buddy Ian:

He was speaking with a friend of his, during an event today in Orlando, and they discussed the fertility specialist that the friend and his wife were seeing, due to their difficulty conceiving a child.

His friend went in to visit the specialist, and the nurse handed him a cup and asked him to produce a specimen. After heading down to a fairly generic restroom and grabbing a stall, he did so, bringing the cup back to the nurse.

Who looked at it and said “No, I needed a urine specimen”.

Ian asked him “So what did you do then?”. Turns out he just left, utterly crushed by embarrassment, though he’s since recovered after realizing that what he did, wanted or not, was something he’d been practicing his whole life for.

Ever the clown/instigator, Ian pointed out to him that he’d handled it all wrong, and should instead have replied “What do you think this is?”

Posted by Patton on 01/24/07 at 02:53 AM
Holy Shit! • The Miracle of Science • Permalink

Friday, January 19, 2007

Quote of the Day

"I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I’m gonna put pins into all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first, I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won’t fall down.” —Mitch Hedberg

Posted by Buckethead on 01/19/07 at 11:38 AM
FakeBlogging • Permalink

Rockets are wrong

As impressive as they are to watch, rockets are a dangerous and in the end inefficient means of getting to orbit. Burning tons of liquefied oxygen and hydrogen and throwing away the rocket every time you want a satellite is not what your average beancounter would call sound economically. Imagine if, to fly from New York to Los Angeles, you built a brand new 747, flew it across the country, and jumped out over LAX for a parachute landing and let the plane crash into the Pacific. Getting a airline ticket would face a few more difficulties than just avoiding TSAâ€™s watchlist.

This is a sound argument for reusable spaceships. But it is an even better argument for taking a step away from rockets altogether. Instead of rockets, why not have an elevator? Walk through the doors, take a seat, and ride into space with as much fireworks and commotion as getting on the express elevator in the Empire State Building. Building a physical structure that extends from the surface of the earth to orbit and beyond seems fantastical, but the idea actually has an extensive pedigree.

The idea for space elevators goes back to the misty dawn of the space age. Russian space theorist Konstantine Tsiolkovsky first proposed the idea of an orbital tower in his 1895 paper “Day-dreams of Heaven and Earth.â€

On the tower, as one climbed higher and higher up it, gravity would decrease gradually; and if it were constructed on the Earth’s equator and, therefore, rapidly rotated together with the earth, the gravitation would disappear not only because of the distance from the centre of the planet, but also from the centrifugal force that is increasing proportionately to that distance. The gravitational force drops ... but the centrifugal force operating in the reverse direction increases. On the earth the gravity is finally eliminated at the top of the tower, at an elevation of 5.5 radii of the Earth (36,000 km).

However, it was soon realized that no material could withstand the compressive stress of the weight of the tower. Half a century and more down the road, another Russian, Yuri Artsutanov, proposed what we now think of as the space elevator. Artsutanov suggested using a satellite in geostationary earth orbit (GEO) as a construction base, and extending a cable downward while simultaneously paying out a counterweight upwards to maintain the center of gravity in GEO. Artsutanov also described using a tapered tether to reduce the stress on the cable.

Over the last several decades, many people have examined the idea. Charles Sheffield and Arthur C. Clarke both used the idea as the central focus of their novels Fountains of Paradise and The Web Between the Worlds in the late seventies. And more thorough research has established many of the engineering requirements for a working space elevator. Most of these problems are solvable by a suitable application of engineering or politics â€“ for example, building a working elevator car for the cable would be a straightforward, if difficult, application of the principles currently used in maglev trains.

But the biggest obstacle is the creation of a structural material for the elevator cable. Our strongest materials until recently fell short of the required tensile strength by a large margin. At a minimum, beanstalk cable material should have a tensile strength of 65 GPa (gigapascals, a measure of stress), and a density on the order of graphite. (Too much weight, and it doesnâ€™t matter how strong the cable is.) The strongest steel is at about 5 GPa. Kevlar hits about the same, but is much lighter. Weâ€™re off by at least an order of magnitude. Quartz fibers and diamond filaments would reach up to the twenties. But then, in the nineties, came carbon nanotubes. Their theoretical tensile strength is in the range needed for a beanstalk.

But, the strongest actual observed GPa was only in the fifties, and the tensile strength of a cable would likely be less than that of its nanotube components. There are also difficulties with making bulk quatities of nanotubes and making them into suitable strands. Cost is also a factor, as nanotubes run about $25 a gram. But there is hope â€“ carbon nanotubes have applications far beyond making space elevator cables, and someone, sometime, will for his own purposes invent a cable that is suitable for our beanstalk.

These developments in materials science put a working beanstalk in sight. And one company has formed to pursue the creation of a space elevator. I ran into Brian Dunbar of the Liftport Company in the comments section over at Murdoc Online, and asked him if heâ€™d do an interview. He graciously agreed, and below, part one of our interview:

More Perfidious Goodness...

Brian, what is your role at the LiftPort Corporation?

I have two roles at Liftport.

Systems Administration - setup accounts, monitor disk usage, setup the web server

Gadfly - I flit about the Internet, looking for blogs, websites and forums that talk about space access, and specifically Liftport and the space elevator. If there are questions or misunderstandings, I correct them or point to a resource for better answers.

Why? Public support alone won’t get us cheap access to space (CATS), but we won’t get CATS without it. More specifically to Liftport we’ll need a favorable legal and political climate to operate in. This is one way of doing that.

I’m not sure if there is a better way - would you trust us more if we ran commercials on TV? I wouldn’t - and we don’t have the funds for a massive traditional PR campaign so it’s moot.

Could you give us a capsule description (for the sake of those readers who are not space enthusiasts) of what LiftPort is trying to do?

Build a space elevator system. Make money. Have fun.

To do that you need an organization that is going to be around for a few decades. This implies cash flow.

Our answer to that is to use the ancillary technology for a space elevator to build a series of businesses to provide short-term capital and long-term seriousness.

We’re talking ‘niche market’ stuff here. Our robotics group is a good example; a lifter rolls up and down a ribbon to a balloon thousands of feet overhead. Going up it can carry fresh batteries or other consumables. Coming back it brings home the dead battery. This enables your load to have a much longer mission life, and it can power a higher energy device than a solar array could.

Potential uses are for wireless internet connectivity for areas where it’s problematic to build towers or the towers have not been built yet, disaster recovery efforts, radio relay for the military.

So .. while it appears to be a two steps up one step back kinda deal this seems to be an optimal way to keep a private organization going while driving onto the main goal.

On your website, you always refer to your goal as a “space elevator.” Is this a conscious decision to avoid the (Perfidy preferred) term “Beanstalk?”

Ya it is. ‘Beanstalk’ is a reference to ‘Jack and the Beanstalk’ of course and that story may not be known or internalized across the world. Space elevator .. everyone knows what an elevator is.

At this point the term ‘space elevator’ is more widely known than beanstalk. No one person set out to make this so it just happened.

Do you feel there is a strong analogy between the historical development of railroads and the future development of space elevators? Or does some other analogy present itself?

It’s possible to use analogy while recognizing that space is different and analogies to previous eras don’t really apply very well.

The railroad analogy is flawed, I believe, if you look at the American West in the 19th century. There the railroad companies gained wealth by owning sections of land adjacent to the tracks, and selling them at a profit. Towns were created by virtue of their being a railroad stop. This falls down with a space elevator - there isn’t any value in owning
space next to the ribbon. It’s all about the anchor, GEO and the bitter end.

The railroad as experienced in Europe might be a better analogy â€“ there lines were constructed along existing communication links, improving the throughput between established locations. I’m dumbing that down for the sake of brevity of course.

It might be better to state that ‘decreasing transaction cost on a transportation link always generates wealth’ and leave it at that.

A few questions about technology:

What is the state of the art in materials technology, and how close are we to beanstalk grade materials?

I am no expert - it’s not where I work and once you get beyond the most elementary description and math most of it is beyond me. The state of the art appears to be that it’s possible to generate the material in the required strength in lengths of a few centimeters but beyond that, nothing. Yet.

Depending on who you talk to we’re about a decade, or decade and half from ‘space elevator’ grade material. Or twenty years to never.

I am confident that the economic benefits of having such material would apply broadly across a number of disciplines - body armor, structural members, etc. So this should keep people beavering away at it.

What technologies need to be developed for a working beanstalk besides ribbon material?

We need a reliable vehicle or system that can traverse a variety of environments, without fail, at high speed. This isn’t ‘a’ technology so much as engineering but neither is it a trivial exercise.

A power system for delivering energy from ground to the lifter needs to be devised. We’re pretty sure that microwave aren’t going to cut it (the rectenna would be huge) so that seems to leave a free-electron laser. You can’t just go get one of these at Ace Hardware but they do exist as tested units in the lab. These need to gone over to see what efficiencies in manufacturing and operation could be had.

Organization. What does an organization that builds and operates a space elevator system (we certainly hope to have more than one in service) look like? We don’t know. There have certainly been private operators of launch services but they’ve been geared around a low launch rate. Things are going to speed up and the org will have to be geared up to that fact.

The anchor. We think that the anchor is going to need to be mobile and capable of an average speed of 12 km/hour. This is faster than deep-sea oil platforms, and we’ll move far more often than they’re capable of doing. This implies some engineering of the concept.

What alternative uses for this technology is your company pursuing in the short term?

Currently we’re standing up a CNT furnace in New Jersey - this will function as a new products integration lab for testing and (we hope) small scale manufacturing of CNT material.

Liftport Robotics to leverage the lifter work into a revenue stream (see above).

Liftport Media is stood up to exploit the media possibilities of the enterprise.

Traditionally, (in science fiction and elsewhere) a space elevator was portrayed as a cable. Why has LiftPort moved to a ribbon concept?

It’s easier for the lifter to clamp onto a ribbon. Generally the answer ‘cheaper and/or easier’ will be valid for most of the choices we’ll make.

How does LiftPort envision a beanstalk construction effort? Will it be built incrementally, or constructed in space and then deployed?

Yes.

The Plan calls for a seed ribbon to be built and lofted into orbit, in several loads. Once there we mate them together, then deploy the thing. Once it’s down lifters ascend and add on more ribbon until we have ‘enough’ to support a few 20-ton climbers at a time.

Too Goddamn Much Perfidy...

Posted by Buckethead on 01/19/07 at 08:00 AM
That Buck Rogers Stuff • Permalink

Thursday, January 18, 2007

The English Bitch, Volume II

Consider the phrase, “Behind every great man is a woman”. We’re all familiar with the thought, if the precise wording varies: that there is causation between the presence of a woman and the success of her affiliated man.

Does it follow then that behind every loser is a bad woman? Does the causation flow downhill too?

Discuss.

Posted by GeekLethal on 01/18/07 at 06:02 PM
FakeBlogging • Permalink

Wait a minute, now

Apple to impose 50% fanboy sucker tax on iPhone consumers, reports AppleInsider. (h/t to gizmodo) It seems that it’s only going to cost about $250 to manufacture the iPhone, and so Apple gets the 50% profit margins that in the past have made it rich, yet contributed to its marginal status in the computer industry. And Cingular gets a two year lock for free, since they ain’t subsidizing shit. This is as annoying as it always is. It’s why I’ve never purchased a new Mac computer.

I think I might wait a little bit until the fanboy rush subsides and competition, hopefully, forces Apple to lower prices. But competition from Dell, HP and a thousand others never forced Apple to lower Mac prices. Will competition from Nokia, Samsung, Sony/Ericsson and others come to the same? Or will Cingular try to convince Jobs to lower the price to keep people coming? You’d think Jobs would have learned by now that if you sell a hundred computers at a 10% margin, you make a lot more money than selling five at 50%. (Assuming about the same price to manufacture, you make twice as much.)

Posted by Buckethead on 01/18/07 at 05:16 PM
Filthy Lucre • Unmitigated Gall • Permalink

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

I’ve got to get out of the highway

Gary Farber is in a panic. Despite chronic physical ailments, and wrestling with crippling depression, Amygdala has been one of the most consistently excellent blogs I know. In keeping with the Ministry tradition of not linking to anyone, or in fact doing anything that would increase our popularity, I have only linked Gary a couple times. But I read. And the other day, he explained why he has been in a panic. One of the few dependable sources of income he has has evaporated. He needs cash.

Imagine you’re a cute, fuzzy deer. You wander onto the highway. You see some lights, you freeze. You think to yourself, “I’ve got to get out of the highway.” The lights get closer. You think, even more urgently, “I’ve really got to get out of the highway.” But you can’t move. Imagine that feeling lasting for months or years at a time. People with chronic ailments like diabetes can take insulin or whatever to control their disease. There is nothing about diabetes that actively tries to prevent you from getting help. Depression does. It’s five miles of fog between you and reality. It’s all the color in your life going away, and not all cute like in Pleasantville. It even makes you like the Cure and the Smiths. And all the while, people tell you to cheer up, or get your shit together, or for godsakes just do something. You feel that whatever talents or gifts you have, which - in the hands of anyone else - would have allowed them to become wildly successful and boink supermodels all day, are really just a mocking curse from a cruel god because you have them, and can’t use them for anything.

I think that Gary might be feeling better, thanks to the generosity of those who’ve already pitched in. Make him feel a little better, if for no other reason than so I can keep reading his blog.

Posted by Buckethead on 01/17/07 at 07:45 PM
Perfidy Responds • Permalink

Earn big money

By way of Princess Cat, I see that there is a contest (with actual prize money) for best milblogger over at the VA Mortgage Center blog. $3,000 cash money to the winner, and $250 to the top ten finishers. It seems they need someone to straighten out the prize money statement. Regardless, folks will be getting checks. Cat has suggested that you all vote for Sgt. Hook, to help him subsidize his trip to the Milblogger conference this spring here in the Nation’s capitol. But I noticed, to my horror, that Murdoc had not been nominated. I corrected that grievous oversight, and I hope that he’ll be sending more links our way. Of course, I could make it easier for him by posting more often.

Posted by Buckethead on 01/17/07 at 07:31 PM
War • Permalink

Friday, January 12, 2007

Not that anyone’s necessarily a Dallas fan

But if so, here’s your explanation for why Dallas’ next game will be in the late summer, 2007:

Tony Romo Regrets Eating Greasy Fried Chicken During Crucial Field-Goal Attempt

DALLAS—Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, whose bobbling of the snap on a crucial fourth-quarter field goal ended the season for Dallas, took...

Posted by Patton on 01/12/07 at 05:13 PM
Darwin Award Contender • FakeBlogging • Permalink

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Whack-a-german

Moles are annoying, conniving and vile creatures. They hate our freedom. But is it worth risking your life to fight the growing mole menace? Uwe Werner felt so, and managed to eliminate himself in attempting to exterminate the moles infesting his yard. His innovative mole electrocution system worked so well in its first test, that it killed a human. Uwe himself.

[Wik] No moles were harmed in the writing of this post.

[AlsÃ¸ wik] My apologies to any family or friends of Uwe Werner who may by some freak of the internets have read this story. UWE IS NOT DEAD. IT’S OKAY. Uwe is the police spokesgerman who announced that the retiree is dead. HE IS NOT DEAD HIMSELF. The name of the retiree has not, to my knowledge, been released. Which is frustrating, because I was imagining an old guy, puttering around the lawn, about to plug in his super-turbo-mole-zapper2000; his wife calls out, “UUUweee noooooo!” and then he goes all lightning and special effects. Without the name, my mental picture is less satisfying.

Posted by Buckethead on 01/11/07 at 11:48 PM
Darwin Award Contender • Permalink

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Whoops. That could leave a mark.

Technology Smack-Down!
(WSJ online sub required, other than for “mouse over” preview)

TECHNOLOGY ALERT
from The Wall Street Journal.

Jan. 10, 2007

Cisco sued Apple for trademark infringement over the “iPhone” name Apple chose for its new cellphone, unveiled yesterday. Cisco obtained the iPhone trademark in 2000, and had been in talks with Apple over rights to the name.

“Cisco entered into negotiations with Apple in good faith after Apple repeatedly asked permission to use Cisco’s iPhone name,” said Mark Chandler, Cisco’s general counsel. “There is no doubt that Apple’s new phone is very exciting, but they should not be using our trademark without our permission.”

So much for all those negotiations that were going on yesterday at CES. This could get interesting, even though it really is all just positioning and preening.

[Wik] Just like Russia v. Belarus. Honest.

Posted by Patton on 01/10/07 at 10:18 PM
Filthy Lucre • Permalink

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