Thursday, November 30, 2006

I feel bad

Just So You Know

Well, not really.  Mostly I feel… very nice.  I do however feel a sort of mild, but by no means overwhelming guilt.  I haven’t been posting much.  That’s it, really.  I have my reasons of course.  Foremost among them is the staggering amount of packing that I have had to undertake over the last couple weeks.  So far, fifty three boxes of books.  And not done yet!  Granted, that is most of the books.  My wife says I should get rid of some of them, and use the library.  But the librarians insist that I bring the books back, and, well, I just don’t dig that.  Then there’s all the clothes, and the kitchen stuff, and the random knicknacks.  We filled up my son’s bedroom with all that.  And of course you’ve got all the stuff in the garage.  Camping gear.  Zombie preparedness kit.  Tools.  More tools.  Pizza boxes.  Then, lurking like a dark lurking thing, is the basement.  Filled with things that I am sure I got rid of and am certain I never bought.  It’s the dark subconscious of the house. 

But all of this, like good things except for the “good” part, will come to an end.  We hope to close on the new Casa de Buckethead a week from tomorrow, and move the following day.  Posting will remain a furtive thing as I duck my heavy packing responsibilities.


Posted by Buckethead on 11/30/06 at 08:35 PM
Just So You Know • Permalink

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Taping this crime spree was the best idea we ever had!

Unmitigated GallWar

The Pentagon is apparently investigating a group of American soldiers who taunted Iraqi children by proffering a bottle of water to a group of them out the back of their humvee and then driving away juuuust a little faster than a group of thirsty urchins can run, and who had the good sense to videotape their hijinks and post it to the interwebs for a larf.

See, several hundred thousand people over there, and you’re gonna get some dilholes. But it sure don’t make the dilholes any less, uh… dillholy? At least they’re gonna pay a little for their dickish fun.


Posted by Johno on 11/29/06 at 09:56 PM
Unmitigated Gall • War • Permalink

Stupid Customer!

Unmitigated Gall

I used to really dig indie music stores. Of course, this was back in the day when I could walk into such a store and know more than 30% of the bands in the bestseller section, but I digress.

I was never totally comfortable with the default attitude of indie music store clerks. We all know what they’re like: assholes. On the other hand, you gotta love their pluck. Witness the following, pulled from an indie-store industry newsgroup.

From: xxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Wednesday, November 29, 2006 12:17 AM
To: xxxxxxxxxx
Subject: the indie record store; TOO good not to share

>From xxxx, [Dinkypeter Records] in [Springfield City]:

Well, Dinkypeter bought 400 [of the Tom Waits box set]. We pre-sold 179 copies, and I wanted to be the only place in [Springfield] with ‘em on 12/24. Yesterday, this dude calls and says, “Will you match the Best Buy price on the Tom Waits box?” We’ll refer to him as BBF (you know, Best Buy’s Friend) in the dialogue below.
BBF: “Will you match the Best Buy price on the Tom Waits box?”
Me: “What’s the price?”
BBF: “$44.99.”
Me: “Sure, I’ll do that. And I’ll put $44.99 on it, so there’s no confusion.”
BBF: “Cool, because I think your shop is awesome. Can you put one back under the name ‘Dave’?”
Me: “Yup, not a problem at all. See ya in a bit.”
Then, about 10 minutes later…
BBF: “I spoke to someone on the phone, they’re holding a Waits box. The guy said he would match Best Buy’s price. He said he would put a note on it.”
Me: “Yeah, that was me. All right, it comes to $47.91.”
BBF: “Your price tag says ‘$39.99’.”
Me: “You asked us to match Best Buy’s price. Our price is $39.99 Theirs, you said, was $44.99, so it comes to $47.91 with tax.”
BBF: “Dude, that’s a f*(king sh!tty thing to do.”
Me: “I’m not sure I understand. You asked us to match Best Buy’s price, and we are.”
BBF: “F*(k you, man. I’m not shopping here again.”
Meanwhile, I turn around and put the box set back on the shelf next to ones for the winners that got signed editions.
Me: “OK, so I can put this back? Because this is the last signed one we have, and we’ll just put it back for the next person.”
BBF: “What do you mean it’s signed?”
Me: “We got signed ones, direct from the label.”
BBF: “That’s bullsh!t. Let me see.”
I reach back and get a signed one from the stack next to it, and…
BBF: “OK, I’ll take it.”
Me: “You said you were never gonna shop here again. I don’t want to see you make yourself be a liar.”
BBF: “I’m serious, man. I’ll take it.”
Me: “Dude, it’s not worth it. Your personal integrity is more important than this signed Waits CD. Believe me, you’ll hate yourself later for going back on your word.”
And now the big ending…
BBF: “F*(K YOU!&#*#*^(@*$(^$(@Y$(&$@*&(*&@$!!!!!”
Next customer in line: “That was awesome.”


Posted by Johno on 11/29/06 at 09:39 PM
Unmitigated Gall • Permalink

The Toy of Two Centuries

Entertainment

Interesting article on the making of LEGOS - I had no idea that the LEGO Group is the world’s largest tire manufacturer.  Or the largest maker of very small tires, anyway.  I envy the children of today, who have Star Wars Legos to play with.  When I was a youngin, Star Wars figures and Legos were my favorite toys - to the exclusion of all others.  One of my greatest frustrations then was that the two groups of toys were almost completely incompatible.  Star Wars figures were just too big to fit into any reasonably scaled Space Lego creation I could make.  For years, decades now that I think on it, my mom has bought me a small Lego set for my stocking every Christmas.  Maybe someday someone will buy me the Legos Star Destroyer.  It’s only $300.  That’s not much.  Really. 


Posted by Buckethead on 11/29/06 at 05:54 PM
Entertainment • Permalink

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Too much TV knowledge and too much time on my hands…

Entertainment

In case you hadn’t noticed, TV Land has compiled a list of the most memorable tv character catch phrases ever.  I was mortified to find that I knew most of them, but somewhat relieved at the same time that it wasn’t just another list of Boomer nostalgic greatest hits.  Plenty of stuff in there uttered after 1972.  List available here.

So anyway it was interesting for about 15 seconds, after which I realized that many of them are utterly filthy.  Forthwith, selective editing of some tv catchphrases into dialogue from a single scene from a porn flick:

“Jane, you ignorant slut!”

“It takes a licking and keeps on ticking...”

“Holy crap! Have you no sense of decency?”

“Sock it to me!”

“Hey hey hey!” “Hey HEY hey!” “heh heh heh” “aaaayyyy”

“Elizabeth, I’m coming!”

“Oh, my nose!”

“Bam!  You’ve got spunk ...”

“How sweet it is!  I can’t believe I ate the whole thing...tastes great, less filling!”

“That’s hot...baby, you’re the greatest.”

“Good night, and good luck.”

“Who loves you, baby?”

exeunt and towel off


Posted by GeekLethal on 11/28/06 at 03:40 PM
Entertainment • Permalink

Friday, November 24, 2006

Stealth for the common speeder

That Buck Rogers Stuff

If shooting femtosecond blasts of laser energy turns the surface of any metal into a radiation sucking blackness, I’m thinking that a really, really black car wouldn’t be all that vulnerable to state trooper radar. 


Posted by Buckethead on 11/24/06 at 05:00 PM
That Buck Rogers Stuff • Permalink

You hide.  I’ll go find my sledgehammer.

That Buck Rogers Stuff

Teaching robots to play hide and seek may seem cute now, when robots are clumsy and stupid.  And, for the most part, unarmed.  But hide and seek isn’t so cute when you’re hiding, and the seeker is smarter than you, armed with plasma cannon, and thinks you are vermin.


Posted by Buckethead on 11/24/06 at 04:56 PM
That Buck Rogers Stuff • Permalink

Thursday, November 23, 2006

I think this is supposed to be humorous

It'll Be a Cold Day in Hell

And, in typical Onion fashion, of course it is.  I guess.

But when I read the article available at the link below, it occurred to me that it could as just as easily have appeared in the “straight” press, and if it were, it might pass as a normal news story.  You know, one of those that you read and nod your head in agreement?

Odd, that.

Ohio State Defeats Michigan 42-39 In Ultimately Meaningless Game

The Onion

Ohio State Defeats Michigan 42-39 In Ultimately Meaningless Game

COLUMBUS, OH—In what had been touted as a college-football matchup for the ages, the top-ranked Ohio State Buckeyes defeated the No. 2 Michigan Wolverines 42-39 Sunday in a game that, while exciting, ultimately made no real impact on the...

[Wik] I just noticed the “tweak” they’d obviously added as a “nudge, nudge, wink, wink” to keep us from taking it seriously (other than the fact it was posted in the Onion) - the game wasn’t played on a Sunday.  Sneaky Onion bastards!

[Alsø wik] As previously discussed, I hope USC wins out convincingly, or better yet, loses twice while Florida beats Florida State by 150 points or more, because I really don’t care to see a rematch between UM & OSU in Tempe. Since OSU’s going to win anyway, how about Boise St, the only other ranked, undefeated team?  Yes, you’re right - that’s going too far.


Posted by Patton on 11/23/06 at 07:59 PM
It'll Be a Cold Day in Hell • Permalink

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Gotta get me some of that

The Miracle of Science

The new scientist (same as the old scientist) reports that the new wave of lifestyle drugs are those that allow us to self-modify our sleep architecture.  And more, and more subtle and powerful, drugs are in the pipeline.  Wakefulness promoters, sleep enhancers, anti-narcoleptics, all this and more will allow you to stay awake for days at a time without the edginess and irritability (not to mention geek stigma) of Jolt(tm) and to recharge your batteries in no time at all with a two hour, all slow wave power nap.  As much as I love sleep - and Mrs. Buckethead will attest to the deep and abiding respect I have for sleep - being asleep is suboptimal for getting things done.

I seem to remember some time ago that someone had a drug that could block the need for sleep, but this article doesn’t mention it.  Pro- something.


Posted by Buckethead on 11/22/06 at 05:19 PM
The Miracle of Science • Permalink

Wednesday Funtime Quizzery

Entertainment

This, I must admit, is not a question that has been keeping me up late at night.  I am aware that I come from rednecks, and I will return to the rednecks in about two weeks. 



You Are 50% Redneck



You’re just about as welcome up in town as a hair in a biscuit.

Ain’t no hidin’ your redneck roots!

How Redneck Are You?

I fudged slightly on some of the questions.  For example, I do not at this moment have a refrigerator on my porch.  But last week I had a refrigerator, a freezer and a gas range.  I think I qualify. 


Posted by Buckethead on 11/22/06 at 05:15 PM
Entertainment • Permalink

Monday, November 20, 2006

And speaking of dick jokes

Unmitigated Gall

Here’s a couple hundred dick jokes:

  • My dick is so big, there’s still snow on it in the summertime.
  • My dick is so big, I went to The Viper Room and my dick got right in. I had to stand and argue with the doorman.
  • My dick is so big, I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company.
  • My dick is so big, it won’t return Spielberg’s calls.
  • My dick is so big, it graduated a year ahead of me from high school.
  • My dick has an elevator and a lobby.
  • My dick has better credit than I do.
  • My dick is so big, clowns climb out of it when I cum.
  • My dick is so big, it was overthrown by a military coup. It’s now known as the People’s Democratic Republic of My Dick.
  • My dick is so big, it has casters.
  • My dick is so big, I’m already fucking a girl tomorrow.
  • My dick is so big, ships use it to find their way into the harbor.
  • My dick is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. My Dick.
  • My dick is so big, it lives next door.
  • My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second, and third.
  • My dick is so big, it votes.
  • My dick is a better dresser than I am.
  • My dick is so big, it has a three-picture deal.
  • My dick is so big that the head of it has only seen my balls in pictures.
  • My dick is so big, Henry Aaron used it to hit his 750th home run.
  • My dick runs the 440 in 15 seconds
  • My dick is the Walrus, koo koo ga joob.
  • No matter where I go, my dick always gets there first.
  • My dick takes longer lunches than I do.
  • My dick contributed fifty thousand dollars to the Democratic National Committee.
  • My dick was once the ambassador to China.
  • My dick is so big, it’s gone condo.
  • My dick hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.
  • My dick was almost drafted by the Cleveland Browns, but Art Modell didn’t want a bigger dick than he was on the team.

Posted by Buckethead on 11/20/06 at 06:54 PM
Unmitigated Gall • Permalink

No longer potentially homeless

Just So You Know

I have been absent from posting for some little while now, and resident in the bad blogger seat that I added to the site to encourage my cobloggers to post just a little more often.  The irony of this situation has not escaped me, but I can at least offer a reasonable excuse: superstition.

It seems that every time I mentioned, online, the prospects for a house - well, that deal went into the crapper in proportion to the amount of detail I went into.  So, I have avoided mention of any real estate dealings, and in fact avoided blogging at all for fear of letting something slip.  I must admit I feel some trepidation in even mentioning it now, but we are under contract for this place, financing is in place, and everything seems to be moving forward in a smooth and sane manner.  Our new place is not the huge estate that I described in my earlier posts, but it is over four acres, and will suit our needs very nicely.

Giant Robot posts, dick jokes and goofiness will resume presently.


Posted by Buckethead on 11/20/06 at 05:04 PM
Just So You Know • Permalink

So, there was this football game last Saturday

Holy Shit!

A classic, best game of the year, if you ask me.  My Ohio State Buckeyes pulled out a three-point victory, winning 42-39.

Yawn. Everybody who gives a crap already knows that.  No news there.

Here’s the follow-up, guaranteed to keep the rubes all atwitter at least until the next Pick-4 Ohio Lottery drawing:

image
(click for full screencap image)

Go figure.  Donald Sensing would likely be displeased.

[Wik] Oh, and back to the game - How good a game was it?  Michigan’s still rated #2 in the AP poll, and is just barely #3 in the BCS. Just as they should be.

[Alsø wik] Dang. I completely misread the grotesquely detailed, yet ultimately quite understandable ESPN rankings. Michigan IS still #2 in the BCS, as well as the AP, but the droids at Harris & USAToday have them #3. The only way to avoid a replay of OSU-Michigan, it seems, is for USC to win out against Notre Dame & UCLA.  If they do, great, and if they don’t, well OSU will have to beat Michigan again. Which they will.


Posted by Patton on 11/20/06 at 03:12 PM
Holy Shit! • Permalink

Thursday, November 16, 2006

A tip for success as a venture capital-backed entrepreneur

Filthy Lucre

It’s not listed in the article as the biggest determinant of success, but it seems to play a large part, and it’s a concise, if not particularly easy-to-follow suggestion:

Be an immigrant

The article’s actual title is “Immigrants Have Founded 1 in 4 Public Venture-Backed Companies in the U.S. Since 1990”, but mine’s shorter, pithier, and more memorable.

I guess that means that unless the Democrats are successful at undoing the pretend-planning that’s been done on the southern border fence, we’re going to see a dearth of new venture-backed startups.

And yes, that’s called “leaping to a possibly unintended conclusion”.


Posted by Patton on 11/16/06 at 02:55 AM
Filthy Lucre • Permalink

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Funny Guy!

Entertainment

Ok… I’ll play.

Your five desert-island comedies. Mine are:

Young Frankenstein
Ghostbusters
Waiting For Guffman
The 40-Year-Old Virgin
Sixteen Candles

And the runners-up:

Blazing Saddles
The Big Lebowski
This Is Spinal Tap
Airplane!
Schindler’s List


Posted by Johno on 11/15/06 at 09:08 PM
Entertainment • Permalink
Page 1 of 3 pages  1 2 3 >