Monday, January 31, 2005

Johno’s Day Planner, Monday 31 Jan.

Darwin Award Contender

7:15 up!
9:00 tax time: pull together W-2s
1:45 CAT scan, Sisters of Mercy hospital
2:45 doc’s appt.: tests
4:00 rent due: balance chkbk, rent check to TG
10:00 straight to bed, mister!


Posted by Johno on 01/31/05 at 02:21 AM
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Friday, January 28, 2005

Ghastly semantics

Lead Pipe Cruelty

We might bicker and cavil and argue about whether or not it’s “torture,” but can we please agree that regardless of whatever else you may call it, it’s cruel and sadistic behavior?


Posted by Johno on 01/28/05 at 03:41 PM
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Thursday, January 27, 2005

Possibly as good as “Sabotage”

Music Wonkery

I know I already plugged this dude’s album pretty hard, but you really should pop over to moceanworker.com and check out the video for the track called “Chick A Boom Boom Boom.”

Now.


Posted by Johno on 01/27/05 at 09:08 PM
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Education means never having to learn anything

Darwin Award Contender

Freshly minted Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings has a lot on her plate: overseeing the No Child Left Behind program; ordering herself a new stapler; untangling an unspeakable labor-relations miasma with the teachers’ unions; coordinating the introduction of new abilities tests and learning standards for public school students of all kinds.

But lucky for her, she’s got herself a nose for the important stuff.

The nation’s new education secretary denounced PBS on Tuesday for spending public money on a cartoon with lesbian characters, saying many parents would not want children exposed to such lifestyles.

The not-yet-aired episode of “Postcards From Buster” shows the title character, an animated bunny named Buster, on a trip to Vermont - a state known for recognizing same-sex civil unions. The episode features two lesbian couples, although the focus is on farm life and maple sugaring.

Surely the best way to make sure children grow up well-adjusted and intelligent is to hide from them the stunning diversity of the ways people live. That way their minds can grow unhampered by such poisionous things as opinions, controversy, and maple sugar.

So we’ve got Miss Moral Majority in Education, and a yes-man for the rubber hose brigade in Justice. What’s next? Pinkerton for Secretary of Labor?

[wik] I mean, really. Spellings is quite solicitous of people who might be offended by the fact that women can live together (in an arrangement we used to call “spinsters” or “maiden aunts"), and yet. My wife and I are not churchgoing folks, and though we want to make sure that some type of spirituality enters into the lives of our as yet theoretical children, we are deeply ambivalent about how best to do that without being either hypocritical (meaning we insincerely join a church for the sake of the children), or offhanded. The same “Buster” program that shows lesbians engaging in *gasp* sugaring also includes and episode featuring a visit to a fundamentalist Mormon household. My children could be exposed to the sight of highly religious people living in a way that comports with their idiosyncratic and uncommon personal beliefs! Where’s the outrage, people?! Where’s the outrage?!!!!!


Posted by Johno on 01/27/05 at 06:15 PM
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The Way He Were

Music Wonkery

Let me get a little personal here. Go, go fetch a drink and a crying towel; I’ll wait.

Back in 1996, just after I graduated college, I drifted for a time rootless and aimless. After a summer whiled away drinking gin and tonic and reading books, I moved to Pittsburgh for lack of anything better to do. At the time, I wasn’t in the greatest shape in any sense, thanks to a late college regimen of heavy drinking, late nights, a succession of (let’s call them) ‘thorny interpersonal relationships,’ and world class self-flagellation. It wasn’t a very good time.

Pittsburgh was a good place to be. I met some people and became a regular at a couple of the less reputable drinking establishments in Squirrel Hill. One night I was abducted and forcibly exposed to nudie bars. Thus it went that my first year after college was a time of assing around, personal growth, and various indeterminately enjoyable false starts.

Sometime in the summer of 1996, I picked up Freedy Johnston’s album, This Perfect World (Elektra, 1994) on the strength of a review I found in an old music magazine. It came along at a perfect time. I listened to it constantly, sometimes letting Freedy sing me asleep (some would call it passing out) on the couch after last call.


Posted by Johno on 01/27/05 at 01:08 AM
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Tuesday, January 25, 2005

The Aristocrats

Holy Shit!

Tell me if this doesn’t sound like the king of all funny to you!
(And, if you’re not careful, you might learn something before it’s through. )

[wik] Speaking of Bill Cosby (who the hell mentioned Bill Cosby?), it turns out he’s being accused of working blue in real life. 


Posted by Johno on 01/25/05 at 08:15 PM
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Correction

Perfidy Responds

In my previous post I had said that mail remained undelivered to portions of Eastern Massachusetts. That is not strictly true.

We Await Silent Tristero’s Empire.

*wink*


Posted by Johno on 01/25/05 at 06:51 PM
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Snow is like plaque on the arteries of my town

Just So You Know

I’ve seen 38 inches of snow before. I’m from the snow belt of Ohio, where the dreaded “Lake Effect” picks up measurable portions of Lake Erie and dumps it in granular form over a huge swath of countryside from Cleveland to Niagara Falls. In Ohio, 38 inches of snow is a lot, make no mistake, but there’s a difference between the big snows of my childhood and the big snow that is now inhabiting my town in coastal Massachusetts.

The difference? Space.

I’m from rural Ohio, out, as my father would put it, “where the hoot owl f**s the chicken.” Consequently, there’s a lot of space around in the winter that nobody’s using for much. It snows a ton, you just move that snow on top of other snow-- no problem. But when you live, as I do now, in a city that was in large part planned before the Battle of Concord, 38 inches of snow is a different story. When most side streets barely admit one lane of traffic under optimal conditions and are as convoluted as a David Eggers story, where the hell do you put three feet of snow?

(It turns out the state doesn’t know either. Just yesterday I heard a new term, “snow farm,” for the plots of land where snow is trucked in to be dumped. Apparently some of these snow farms won’t be done melting until July. )

As of this writing, eastern MA is halfway to paralyzed, with many side streets impassable, public transportation operating behind schedule, schools delayed, and mail undelivered to some areas (!!).  Best of all, 5 more inches are on the way tomorrow. Fun!!

Fun fact:
Eastern Massachusetts got its average snowfall for a year in twenty-four hours on Saturday and Sunday, falling continuously at a rate of between 1 and 1.2 inches per hour. My particular town by some measures got the worst, at 38 inches total. (We win!) By way of comparison, a person would have to eat 100 pounds of beef in one day to get their yearly allotment of moo-meat. Just sayin’. 


Posted by Johno on 01/25/05 at 05:44 PM
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Satellite Flux

The Miracle of Science

For the technology minded...a few weeks ago I had a hi-def satellite system installed at my house (Voom).  A few days ago Voom’s satellite was sold to EchoStar and the entire service is in a state of flux.  It is possible that they will stop transmitting.  Good thing I didn’t pay for the equipment!  In any case, here are a few thoughts...getting HD TV these days is a total pain in the ass, and Voom is the best thing out there at the moment.  I hope the service survives in one form or another.


Posted by Ross on 01/25/05 at 03:34 PM
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Monday, January 24, 2005

Nothing Brings People Together Like Hate

Unmitigated Gall

Brad over at Pool of Thought brings us this story from the land of gloom and coffee. 

Here’s the short version: the “celebrate diversity” set formed themselves a good ol’ fashioned mob and forced an Army recruiting team from their campus last week, a gesture they somehow linked to the president’s inaugural.  Brad does a great essay on it, which I can’t improve upon. 

At least though the filthy protestors were of all stripes, so they sort of practice what they preach.  Black and white, man and woman standing together, free from the baggage of their parents’ bigotries, and united in spitting in the face of someone else entirely. 

Thanks to SMASH also; wouldn’t have found the post without his link.


Posted by on 01/24/05 at 02:25 PM
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Friday, January 21, 2005

New new adventures in marketing

Just So You Know

Or, for that matter, Spinal Tap, Britney, Shakira, and ABBA?

Man. That is one messed up algorithm.


Posted by Johno on 01/21/05 at 07:25 PM
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New Adventures in Marketing

Entertainment

You know, Blockbuster is right.

Since I dig Metallica, why WOULDN’T I also dig Britney Spears, Weird Al, and Sheyl Crow?


Posted by on 01/21/05 at 07:06 PM
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My bologna has a first name, and it’s S-T-I-V

Music Wonkery

Ever seen a guy blow his nose on bologna and eat it? Do ya wanna?

One of the hardest things about being a latter day punk rocker are the endless tales of how great things used to be. “Man, did you ever see the Nails back at the Abbey in ’77? What… you were three years old? Sucks for you, man.” Aside from closing your eyes and wishing reeeal hard, there’s no way of knowing what it was really like, or whether the Nails were ever actually any good.
The live albums that have survived aren’t always much help. Aside from the odd gem, most live punk classics are famous for being unmitigated disasters-- they’re famous for their antics. Look at The Stooges’ Metallic K.O. I mean, jeez… part of that record is the sound of the band getting full bottles of beer thrown at them. And few people talk about whether the Sex Pistols were actually any good live; all you hear about is the LA gig where they closed with “No Fun,” walked off stage, and broke up for good. But hey-- I hear the Germs were really hot that night. To a certain extent I’m guilty of the same sin, using Dead Boys lead singer Stiv Bators’ stage antics as my pull quote ("But really Johno… how did it sound?").

It did come as a bit of a surprise to me to find that some enterprising soul had taken it upon themselves to do a three-camera video shoot of a complete Dead Boys set at CBGB in the halcyon (well, the Demerol) days of 1977. Some of you might rightly ask why someone thought to record the Dead Boys at all— in a color three-camera shoot no less—rather than, say The Ramones or Talking Heads. The answer to that question is that someone at Sire Records loved the Dead Boys and hoped to make them the next big thing: proof of this is the amusing 1977 video spot helpfully included in the bonus footage, which touts the band as “the most exciting, outrageous band in the United States today.”

Whether or not they were what Sire claimed them to be, Live at CBGB/OMFUG 1977 finally gives us an opportunity to see whether “Sonic Reducer” was a fluke or the real deal. Finally, a chance to see if the music lives up to the hijinks. Finally, a chance to see whether all us punks up there on a thousand tiny stages, beating ourselves with microphones and sneering while we bash our instruments like they owe us money, perpetrating outrageous antics for larfs (the lead singer of my old band once drank a douche, got real sick) and getting publicly drunk while playing rudimentary melodies at high speeds are actually pursuing a gold standard set lo, these many years ago, or whether we are just a bunch of second-rate a-holes mimicking an older bunch of second-rate a-holes.


Posted by Johno on 01/21/05 at 05:55 PM
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Thursday, January 20, 2005

Errata

Perfidy Responds

In an addendum to Geeklethal’s post on Vonnegut and why Americans are not universally loved, I misquoted Gertrude Stein writing about Oakland, California. I said she wrote, “I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, turning and turning in the widening gyre, the falcon cannot hear the falconer, when in the course of human events our fathers brought forth on this continent milk, bread, cheese-- dental floss!, in Xanadu did Kublai Khan a stately pleasure dome decree, with truth and justice for all, Amen.”

In fact, the correct quote is, “give us the money, Lebowski, or we cut off your chonson.”


Posted by Johno on 01/20/05 at 07:35 PM
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Let’s hope it’s a desk job

Lead Pipe Cruelty

The commander of the US nuculur sub that ran aground off Guam last month has been reassigned.

Do you think his friends call him “crash”?


Posted by Johno on 01/20/05 at 07:27 PM
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